[Open Post, backdated to November 1st] The Rising

[oldmantiger]

 Kotetsu wakes up.

...which is a little surprising, considering he hasn't actually slept in a month.

He wakes up, flat on his back in the gardens. The grass is warm beneath him, the breeze is crisp around him. For a moment, he just enjoys it. Even when memories of the past month start to filter back, he lets himself entertain the idea that it was all just a bad dream. 

But then he remembers the monster. He remembers being...twisted and transformed. He remembers everything he heard, everything he did. And no, there's no way it was all a dream. He's never been that lucky. 

Kotetsu lays a hand against his chest, but...no, there's no denying that whatever Asriel had taken is back where it belongs. Right now, it mostly feels like a heavy weight on his chest. A heavier weight, at least. All of him feels pretty heavy and clumsy now, after a solid month of being insubstantial and invisible.

There are people he needs to see. That knowledge forces its way through to the front of his mind. Kotetsu braces his hands on the ground to try and get up...and immediately gets distracted by the feel of the ground. Such a simple thing that he wants to never, never take for granted again. He laughs out loud to feel it, laughs just to be sure he's not going to sob.

It's been a long month. He kind of wants to get drunk until the next one. But...the grass just feels so nice right now. He's not ready to stand up.

So those of you who are out, about, and reacting to your newly normalized states might come across Kotetsu in the gardens, laying on the ground, pulling up blades of grass a few tufts at a time and watching them be carried away on the breeze. He's smiling like he doesn't have a care in the world.

He has plenty, though, and they eventually become impossible to ignore. So when Kotetsu does get to his feet, he immediately starts running. As he runs, he calls out: "Bunny? Toshi? Where are you?"

Though if he passes by anyone he encountered as a ghost - whether or not they knew he was there - he's definitely going to slow down and hesitate for a moment, wondering what to say. If he should say anything. 

Comments

[lostinmyway]

Grune is a little later than usual coming to the garden today. Lots of her friends haven't been feeling very good, and so she's taken to visiting them whenever she remembers. But the castle's magic has gone away now, and so she's spent extra time with everyone this morning, both celebrating and comforting.

Eventually, though, she makes her way outside. She hasn't found everyone yet, but she will.

...And no sooner does she think this than she notices one of the friends she was most worried about, lying in the grass and smiling.

Immediately, she smiles as well and gives a little sigh. Oh, she's so glad he's feeling better.

"Good morning, Kotetsu!" she calls out as she steps closer.

[oldmantiger]

Kotetsu's gaze snaps up when he hears his name called. Even now, his heart skips a beat when he sees someone looking at him again, even if that should no longer be a surprise where Grune is concerned. But, much like the feel of the grass beneath his fingers, it's not something he's about to take for granted again any time soon.

He sees her, and his smile only widens. "Grune, hey!" And Kotetsu is still a little unsteady when he gets up to his feet - he wobbles a bit, sways a bit. But then he heads right on over to wrap her in a tight, enthusiastic hug. It's only when his hand makes contact with the fabric of her clothes that he lets himself believe, really believe, that it's over.

[lostinmyway]

Grune already was moving toward Kotetsu--but when she sees the way he's having trouble standing, she almost skims along the grass to catch him up in her arms.

As much as she wants to lean into him, she thinks that maybe they would both fall down if she did. And so she draws him against her where she stands firm and strong.

"I'm so glad you're better now!" she tells him, and presses her smiling cheek against his.

[oldmantiger]

He's long past the point of being surprised at how much stronger Grune is than she looks. And, truth be told, Kotetsu isn't about to say no to someone strong and steady to lean against for a minute, while he deals with actually being on his feet.

Besides. Grune just gives some pretty great hugs.

"I'm so glad I am, too," he says. And if his voice is wavering and a little unsteady still, it's at least partly due to happiness.

But there are other things on his mind, other people he has to worry about that probably aren't holding up as well as Grune seems to be. "Is everyone back to normal? Have you seen anyone else today?" It certainly seems like it's late morning or so, maybe early afternoon, but he'd kind of lost a lot of sense of time.

[lostinmyway]

She can hear the small tremble in Kotetsu's voice. For just a moment, she holds him a little tighter.

When he asks her that question, she pulls back a little to look at him, but not before she presses a kiss to his cheek.

"Yes, I've seen all kinds of friends. I think everyone is back to the way they usually are."

But then her smile slips just a little. At least, their bodies are. So many of her friends were sad this month. Sadness isn't so quick to leave.

[croppedout]

Kotetsu is not the only one who likes playing in the grass. Satoru has been wandering around outside the castle, as he has most days this month. Too many bad things were happening inside, too many things that made him tense up, made him think about cold water and a stuck seatbelt and that he'd never really become a hero, had he? It was stupid for him to think that he could, that he could use Revival like the superpowers on TV.

He doesn't like seeing people suffer. He doesn't like the reminder that for every person he saves from being 'alone,' there are a hundred more that'll be isolated forever.

So he stays out here. It's happier here. It's peaceful and sunny and there's pieces of grass blowing away on the wind. He follows the source to a man sitting in the grass. For a moment, he raises an eyebrow, thinking that the man looks too old to be playing out here, before he remembers he's technically 29 and makes a face to himself, remembering how easy it is for him to fall into his childish ways.

He approaches and flops down in the grass, beaming at the stranger. "Hey! It's way more fun to do that with dandelions, you know."

[oldmantiger]

Kotetsu doesn't realize Satoru has approached until the kid has flopped down next to him. He flinches, letting out a faint gasp of surprise. But that's nothing to the lurch of shock he still feels in the pit of his stomach when Satoru actually talks to him, looks at him. That's definitely going to take some getting used to.

That's not necessarily a bad thing, though. He sits up properly to better talk with the kid, and maybe drop a few stray grass stems in his hair. "Yeah, it is." He smiles fondly at the thought. This place could use some good wishes floating around. "You know where any dandelions are growing around here?"

[croppedout]

Satoru is mildly confused that he apparently snuck up on the guy. He's not exactly the most sneaky kid, and he wasn't trying to be quiet. Why does he seem so shocked?

Well, at least he seems happy once he gets over whatever surprised him. Satoru beams back but at the question, it turns into an annoyed frown.

"No. I've seen a couple growing in the gardens, but some lady keeps pulling them out."

[tinyprotector]

When Yukio spots Kotetsu, he slows down too. In fact, he freezes up a little, resisting the urge to run the other way. There were very few things about his encounter with the ghost that were good, and after running into Croc, he knows that some monsters can't be trusted no matter what Frisk says.

Besides that... he's screwed up enough. If he can't help Kotetsu, he should just leave him alone.

But Kotetsu is human now, and running away will just make him look pathetic. Not that he isn't pathetic now, clutching the bottom of his sweater with one hand and offering a slight wave with the other. A greeting. A peace offering, sort of. At least until he knows if Kotetsu is dangerous when he's tangible as well.

[oldmantiger]

...oh. oh dear.

It takes Kotetsu a second to recognize Yukio. But when he does, he stops dead, feeling like his feet have been glued to the floor, that his heart is so heavy in his chest that it's weighing the rest of him down. He ducks his head a little, momentarily unable to meet Yukio's hesitant gaze, and runs a hand anxiously through his hair.

"H-Hey, um...kid?" He frowns a little more intently. He knows this kid's name. They did exchange names. Finally, hesitantly: "...Yukio, right? You okay?"

His memories of that last bad week are...still a little hazy. He recognizes Yukio. He remember's the boy's attempts to reach out to him and help him. He also remembers that they'd been largely unsuccessful, and...god, he can't be sure he hadn't hurt the poor kid for trying.

Somewhat belatedly, he returns that tiny wave.

[tinyprotector]

Yukio can see that shock and anxiety, and for a brief moment, he’s relieved before he feels disgusted with himself. He doesn’t want to upset Kotetsu, even if seeing him so hurt is proof he probably didn’t mean to hurt him. No one could fake a reaction like that, right?

Kotetsu speaks up, and he gasps softly. Just hearing that voice reminds him of all the awful things that were said, the way he smiled despite spitting insults at himself and others. But he doesn’t quite sound the same. The tone is different, so he nods.

“I’m Yukio, right. And, um, I’m okay. Are… are you better now?”

He swallows and averts his gaze to the floor. He doesn’t exactly know how to go about asking if Kotetsu is alive now without it sounding weird and adding unwanted emphasis on his abilities to see that sort of thing.

[oldmantiger]

"Yeah," Kotetsu swallows, feeling as though he's just been stabbed in the chest when Yukio looks away. "Yeah, I'm...I'm better now. Thanks for asking."

Seeing Yukio look so anxious and scared of him is too much to bear. Moving slowly, Kotetsu kneels down until he's at Yukio's level, keeping his hands where they can be seen, trying to seem as nonthreatening as possible. He's...genuinely not entirely sure how to do that. Children have never been scared of him before. Dealing with them is one of the few things he's always at least reasonably sure where he stands about.

This place has taken so much from him already. But...even so, Kotetsu isn't about to just let Yukio keep being scared. Not if there's anything he can say to change that.

"Listen, Yukio, I...I wanted to thank you, for trying to help me before." He forces himself to smile. The gratitude in his expression, however, is not at all feigned. "You were really brave, and...I couldn't really appreciate that before. But I do now. And...I'm really sorry I scared you like that. I promise, it won't ever happen again."

He can't make that promise and be sure of keeping it. But Kotetsu knows that he's damn well going to try.

[tinyprotector]

“Oh. That’s good. I think, um, most people got better by now.”

He’ll consider himself very lucky he didn’t have to go through some of the horrible things others did. It’s mainly knowing that happened that has him so scared, but Kotetsu moving slowly and calmly definitely ensures that the man doesn’t add to his fear.

He knows he shouldn’t be so scared. He’s supposed to be brave so he can protect everyone… but it’s so hard to remember that when Rin and Shiro aren’t here.

Yukio looks up in surprise to see Kotetsu smiling at him. He seems… grateful for something he did, and that’s a lot for the child to take in. Not to mention the things he’s saying.

“I… wasn’t really that brave,” he manages to stammer out. “You weren’t supposed to be scary, it wasn’t your fault. So I should have remembered that.”

He can’t even handle the fake demons this place sends at him… he really is just a coward.

[darkerstripes]

If alcohol had any affect at all on Toshi, he would be seriously considering drinking himself into next month, too. This was all... too much. Barnaby as a... a literal puppet. Kotetsu being gone and then coming back and being not himself...

Toshi seeing himself bleed.

He could have done without October, thanks.

Even worse, he has no idea what to do now. Finally, whatever horrible (wonderful?) curse had hit him has faded, and the flesh he'd been so confused by was gone, replaced once more with his metal and his wires and his nonliving lab-grown flesh. He knows he'd wished, once or twice, to be human, but he didn't want it this way. Not at the cost of his hero's humanity.

And he doesn't know how to help them, right now. Kotetsu clearly didn't want them around, especially not Toshi, and Barnaby was... the ghost of nausea curls into his system, right along with guilt. He abandoned him. Bunny needed him and Toshi abandoned him.

He's basically a mess of emotions and blame and hurt, so much so he almost doesn't hear Kotetsu calling his name. Almost.

There's more desperation in his voice than he wanted, and it makes him flinch when he calls back, "Kotetsu?"

[oldmantiger]

The memories of that last bad week are...hard to look at, directly. How angry he'd been. How easily he'd lashed out. He remembers not remembering some of the people who had become so important to him. Toshi had been one of them. Instead, when Kotetsu had looked at him, all his residual bitterness and anger and fear over his encounter with H-01 had come boiling back up to the surface. It hadn't mattered that Toshi was human when they'd met again that time. All that had mattered was seeing him standing there beside Barnaby where Kotetsu belonged. Just as H-01 had.

And, without his soul, he hadn't really been up for listening to reason, or letting himself be swayed by hesitant smiles or promises of friendship as he had before.

Now he remembers all of that as though he'd been the puppet, watching it all unfold from behind his own eyes...but no. It had been him. On some level, all of that had been him.

He definitely wouldn't blame Toshi for not wanting to see him. But if there's a chance to apologize, Kotetsu wants to take it. His heart feels like it jumps up into his throat when he hears Toshi call back to him, equal parts relief and dread bubbling in the space left behind. He falters, for a moment...then he takes a deep breath, clenches his fist, and orunds the corner towards the voice of his friend.

Even if he finds himself not entirely sure of what to do next, when he finally finds Toshi in front of him. Looking at him. Toshi might see some of himself in the way Kotetsu falters, anxiety visibly grabbing a hold of him. He ducks his head for a minute before he can bring himself to look into the android's face.

"Hey. Um..." For lack of anything better to do, he raps his knuckles against the wall beside him in demonstration. "...I'm back."

[darkerstripes]

It's hard to look at Kotetsu, directly. Hope had reared up inside of him at the sound of his name in Kotetsu's voice, but the last time he'd seen the man, it had been a bad time. He's worried. The memories of that rage, that vicious jealousy, eating at his mind. Does he remember him now? Is he angry?

Angry isn't the right word, Toshi can see that much at first glance. There's something negative there, though, something that looks uncomfortably familiar on Kotetsu's features, if not on Kotetsu specifically. Anxiety. Guilt. Unsureness. Toshi stands frozen for moments that feel like years, taking all of that in. He doesn't know how to react, what is a good way to react. He doesn't even know what he wants. He's trembling, a little, but he hopes Kotetsu doesn't see.

Then Kotetsu breaks the silence, with his awkward doofy self, and relief and fondness sweep through Toshi like a wave. Enough that he's almost dizzy. Emotions are so powerful, he thinks to himself as he steps forward. Hesitantly, he touches Kotetsu's shoulder.

"You're back..." His eyes meet Kotetsu's, glowing bright, threatening tears, and full of fond relief. He wants so badly to crush Kotetsu into a hug but he isn't sure he should.

[oldmantiger]

Kotetsu actually flinches as Toshi steps nearer, braced for...what, he doesn't know. Anger would be understandable. Anger, hurt, some kind of blame. After saying and doing everything he had to reassure Toshi, after promising the android a safe place with Kotetsu, to have followed all of that up by reacting the way he had...Kotetsu can't necessarily say that he wouldn't be angry, in Toshi's place. He hadn't entirely been himself, of course. But...he's still not sure it can be said he entirely wasn't himself, either.

He holds his breath for a moment when he sees Toshi reach out, but...no, of course he never had a reason to worry. And he lets that held breath out in a shuddering sigh of relief and tension bleeding out when Toshi just rests a hand on his shoulder. It's so indescribably nice, to have even that small connection re-established between them.

"Yeah..." He lets out a shaky little laugh, blinking away the threat of tears, and is finally able to look back up at Toshi and smile. "I'm back." He's able to look at this android with this face that is so much like his own and yet already seems so much more distinct than it had a couple of months ago. Once more, now that he's been put back together, Kotetsu doesn't see a threat. He just sees a friend, and he wants things to be okay.

And Kotetsu hopes so much, as he always does, that this isn't overstepping some kind of boundaries. But with the other man standing right in front of him, it's a lot harder to resist the urge to close the distance left between them and hug Toshi tightly. So he doesn't.

"...I'm so sorry."

[darkerstripes]

The flinch was almost enough to make Toshi run away entirely, and it certainly made something in his chassis clench hard in pain. But something stronger than that compels him to stay. Maybe it's selfish, maybe it's subliminal knowledge, who knows, but he holds onto his courage and doesn't run.

At least the hand on Kotetsu's shoulder doesn't make him throw Toshi off, or lash out. That's a good sign. He hopes his shaking isn't obvious, and he gives a little squeeze, to reassure himself that Kotetsu really is solid flesh. The skinny, dense, warm flesh he knows and loves. He really could cry from relief, and from the desire to cling to him.

He's searching for something less stupid to say, trying to keep his eyes on Kotetsu's face, and not entirely able to handle the expression he sees there, when Kotetsu does what Toshi wasn't brave enough to do. Arms around him, chests pressed close, the tears really do fall. Toshi heaves relief, holding back on tight, tight, fists clenched around Kotetsu's clothes.

"Me too. I'm sorry. I... " He almost said something he really, really shouldn't, and he swallows it back, gulping around his swollen voicebox. Stupid humanoid traits. "I was so worried."

[ojisankink]

Barnaby isn't in the garden or in the hallways. Most of the places he was left behind when he was a puppet are bare now. Which is understandable, now that he can actually move, go where he wants to be.

And where he wants to be is definitely away from people. Too many people hurt him last month, took advantage of him, touched him and Barnaby can't blame them for that but he also can't trust himself to be comfortable. He's not good at being around people in the first place, and even less so when he isn't acting as the hero, Barnaby Brooks Jr.

The puppet he was last month was sort of a more extreme version of the Barnaby that met with the sponsors about two years ago. He needs to remember what it's like to not smile for the cameras.

And he needs to get that very bad taste out of his mouth from thinking about the sponsors and by extension thinking about that nightmare.

...That wasn't real, right? It couldn't have been. It was too much even for Maverick to do something like that. It felt too real, but it wasn't.

Nothing is real, is it? Everything is shattered and fake. Kotetsu had said as much to him.

Barnaby sighs and pulls the covers over his head, ignoring the way his mind offers the sound of Kotetsu calling for him. Not real, not real...

[oldmantiger]

Kotetsu's searching does eventually take him to perhaps the one place he should have checked first - the door bearing a neatly handpainted sign for Barnaby's name. But in the end, it's close to the last place he looks. Maybe only because right up until he realizes he's out of any other options, he'd wanted to believe that Barnaby would be okay enough to be anywhere else but hiding in his room.

So Barnaby will hear the calling of his name drawing closer and closer...until at last, it stops. Until at last, Kotetsu is standing right outside the door, trying to work up the nerve to go in.

He even considers using his Hundred Power, for a moment, if he has any of it left. Just to make sure Barnaby is really in there. He doesn't, in the end. He just trusts that his partner has to be around here somewhere. That his partner will answer him when he calls out.

He knocks on the door.

"Bunny?" He swallows, takes a deep breath, tries again. "Bunny, are you in there?" Already, that dark little voice in the back of his mind that is responsible for so many of his self-doubts is insisting that he should go, that he should leave, that Barnaby doesn't want to talk to him and why should he?

But if Kotetsu was willing to let his mistakes decide everything between them, to give up like this, then they never would have become friends in the first place. Friends and...maybe more.

[ojisankink]

The voice is getting louder. Barnaby knows it’s a hallucination, and has been trying everything he knows to cope alone and make the feeling go away, but it just isn’t working. It’s only getting more insistent, and he hates himself for wanting to give in and rely on something that isn’t real.

When the voice stops, he breathes a sigh of relief, but then audibly gasps as there’s a knock on the door. So maybe he is there. But even then, should he rely on him? He’s caused Kotetsu more than enough trouble already. Kotetsu should be recovering from that month, not fussing over him. Fussing over someone who can’t figure out reality anymore.

Kotetsu called him a fake. And what if he is? What if he’s just a fabrication of the Barnaby Kotetsu knows? He could never be sure. His head’s screwed up enough as it is.

He doesn’t want to answer. He shouldn’t answer. But… Kotetsu has been through enough, and he doesn’t need to feel like the world can’t see him again.

“I’m here,” he finally answers, sitting up and trying to make it look like he hasn’t been laying in bed all day.

[oldmantiger]

Kotetsu lets himself feel relieved at the response, doesn't stop himself from smiling. Good. He's finally found Barnaby, and...he doesn't hear anyone else in there. Which says that Barnaby is probably back to normal, that he has no more strings for someone else to grab and make him speak. They're all back to normal. It really is over.

...even if he's already been forced to face the fact that it's going to take a long while before the dust settles. But that's all the more reason why Kotetsu wants to fuss. He can understand why Barnaby might want to be alone, but...he can't heal alone. Not entirely. Kotetsu wants to help him in ways above and beyond driving people away from him.

Even so, even he can see that it might be best to tread lightly, to start with. "You mind if I come in? I mean...I'm not a ghost anymore, if that helps. And..."

His smile falters and his chest tightens at the memory of the last time they saw each other. When he'd stared at Barnaby without seeing, without recognition, when all he'd cared about was raging at what he thought he'd lost. You can't fool me. You're not Bunny. You're just some puppet sent to trick me. He remembers those words. And he's sure Barnaby does as well.

...he can't begin to apologize. But perhaps he can begin to reassure.

"...and I'm all here again." He doesn't mention souls just yet. No need to alarm the guy too much. "I got back...what I lost."

hhh sorry for late

[itstheend]

It's someone he encountered as a ghost, but Kotetsu may not know it, wrapped in someone else's flesh as they are now. Frisk is looking after Chara's body for the moment, and they, too, are enjoying the gardens for similar reasons. They've been running around, and there's twigs in their hair from trying to see what was inside the middle of a hedge (more hedge, as it turns out). They're also getting pretty sunburned, whoops. They're going to be feeling that later.

They brighten when they come across Kotetsu. He seems to have recovered as Chara did, and they breathe a sigh of relief. Even if they look like someone else at the moment, they still want to check in, and if he remembers their request it'll also be a way of letting him know their friend is safe.

"Hi, hero!" they greet. The term is used utterly sincerely.

I am hardly in a position to judge. >_< Thakns for tagging, though! I love these two.

[oldmantiger]

He doesn't recognize that a ghost is caring for that body in that moment, but he does recognize the figure. He especially recognizes that sweater. Including the fact that, the last time he saw this child, they were a skeleton and he was a ghost and he was chasing them off from Barnaby. Whoops. Someone else to apologize to, then.

Even so, he smiles back broadly to see them safe. His memories of his time as a Lost Soul are hazy, but he does remember promising to look for them. He also remembers not succeeding at all.

Their greeting sounds completely sincere, enough to take him aback for a moment - he remembers how sarcastic Chara had been when they'd first met. But he waves back, even as he casts his mind back for a name. He's...not sure he actually got their name, in the heat of everything, from Croc to transformations. "Hey, kid!"

Kotetsu crosses the distance between them and kneels down a bit to better address Chara. "Looks like everyone's starting to get back to normal. How are you feeling?"

[itstheend]

Frisk isn't inclined to introduce themself as Chara; for one, they aren't, and for another, that's Chara's choice to make. They... are not planning to reveal themself as Frisk, either, unless something presses the issue. They're fine being background.

So 'kid' works for now. It's not wrong.

It feels a bit weird when he kneels a little, and they blink. They weren't expecting that level of focus, but they don't mind it.

"Better," they say warmly. Not 'good', necessarily, but definitely better. "You don't need to look for me anymore."

There's a nice dual meaning there making it not technically misleading. They squint up at him, looking him over.

"What about you, are you okay?"