Ready Player One

[twoplayergay]

[First thing Michael notices is that his ass isn't planted in the beanbag chair he fell asleep in. What is being a senior for other than late night video game benders with your best friend in the world, right? Yeah.

Man is he stiff, though. He groans and shifts around, trying to get comfortable again. It fails miserably.

A moment later he opens his eyes with a big frown and sits up.

Definitely not his bean bag. Not his room??? He didn't even drink last night what gives...]

Yo, Jeremy, this isn't funny.

[He stumbles to his feet and stretches to get life back into his limbs. He's in some like old-fashioned sitting room? In a really uncomfortable chair. There's like a fireplace and shit.]

Who's house even is this?! How did you get me here? Jeremyyyyyyy!

Comments

[jakeyd]

[Jake stops in his tracks just down the hallway when he hears someone calling out. Had he heard right? They were looking for Jeremy? Of course, they're probably a billion Jeremy's out there--but that's not going to stop Jake from hoping it's someone from school. Or keep him from switching into high gear, running towards the source of the voice.

Which means poor, confused Micheal is going to have to deal with the most popular guy in school suddenly barging into the room as if someone had told him free pizza was in here.]

Hey, it's Big M! You're here too!

[twoplayergay]

[It was confusing enough to have the door open and have Jake Dillinger come busting in. It had to get worse all over again with him greeting Michael like they're best bros.

Please excuse his staring. He has a lot of questions but of course the first one that manages to gain power enough to be spoken is:]

"Big M"?

[jakey_d]

[Jake crosses his arms, seeming quite proud of himself.]

Duh dude, you saved the school from becoming cyborgs: of course you get a cool nickname!


Oh, uh...but if Chloe or Brooke show up, maybe don't mention the whole evil robot...thing? They still thinks it was drugs. Pretty sure Jenna remembers as much as I do but I'm not too sure.

[twoplayergay]

[Opens mouth, closes it. He speaks out loud, softly, without realizing he's doing it.]

Jake Dillinger is giving me a nickname and thinks I'm a hero...

[Clears his throat.]

Right, right, sure. But uh, Jake. What do you mean "show up"? What's goin' on?

[jakeyd]

More self confidence, dude: you are a hero. But, uhh...

[Jake looks around for a window as if it's going to help prove what he has to say. But it's not like you can see the edge from there. This would sound like a prank even to someone who trusted him one hundred percent.]

Actually, it might be better if I showed you, if you're okay with that?

[twoplayergay]

[He stiffens up and blushes a little.

What's a self-confidence can you eat it.]

Uhh, yeah sure. You're being weirdly cagey, though. You're making me nervous.

[jakeyd]

[Jake holds his hands up in a sort of placating gesture.] Oh, sorry man, I didn't mean to freak you out or anything! It's just a lot easier to explain if you see for yourself.

[As in, easier because you'll actually believe him and not think this is all some sort of elaborate prank.]

I think there's a window at the end of the hall that will help!

[He points behind him with his thumb.

Okay, so his new plan is to show Micheal the window then the edge of the island. That's like, easing him into it, right?]

anime is real michaal

[lawofcycles]

Um. Mister? [Someone meddlesome has come to investigate the ruckus. She looks a mix of concerned, and slightly irritated with the noise but covers it with a smile. She also looks straight out of some anime, complete with a pink and frilly magical girls outfit. ]

If you've just arrived, um, welcome? This isn't really anybody's house, its a castle. On an island...In the sky.

[She winces visibly at that. Way to break it easy to the guy.]

Re: anime is real michaal

[twoplayergay]

[HOLY SHIT.

Then, whispered very quietly:] Holy shit.

Where's the convention, dude?

[Then the rest of what she says sinks in.] Sooooo... I just somehow got ported right into a Miyazaki film. Sure why not.

[lawofcycles]

"Ehehehe..." [ Furious internal screaming. ] I'm afraid we don't have enough people here for one.

[Why does magical girl anime exist in her canon. God she's self aware. She knows. ]

And uh, sure, of a sort? [She sighs into a glove.] There's no big story or anything though. We just...live here. Sometimes people disappear. Some people are looking for a way out.

[twoplayergay]

Okay well here's a follow up for that: who is here? And we really have no idea why?

[That makes no sense. He doesn't like that. There has to be a reason.]

Well, does this property belong to anyone? OH! Damn, where are my manners? I apologize! I'm Michael!

[firewalled]

[Holy shit, someone is calling for a Jeremy. Rich knows a Jeremy! If he knows a Jeremy, and they know a Jeremy, than maybe...

Rich's mile a minute troll logic brings him to a conclusion before Michael even finishes yelling, and he darts down the hallway, cupcake still clenched in one hand, icing still on his nose. He almost drops his treat when he sees who's there.]

Dude! Michael? You're kidnapped too!

[He throws his arms in the air for a brief moment of celebration before he realizes what he just said.]

Oh shit! You're kidnapped too!

[twoplayergay]

[Holy shit that is a really loud thumpa thumpa of footsteps coming this way. Oh, it's Rich, that's why. He's a heavy dude.]

Oh, hey Rich. So can you explain how the fuck I got- KIDNAPPED!? WHAT? WHY?

[Oh my god he has icing on his nose.]

... Our kidnappers provide cupcakes?

[firewalled]

[If Rich wasn't busy freaking out, he might notice that Michael sounds remarkably casual speaking to him, like they're more than just acquaintances through shared trauma. Granted, Rich thinks Michael is pretty awesome from the few conversations he's had with him when he visited, but Michael is also pretty messed up from the situation that Rich sort of caused, so he should still be a little mad... right?

Still, the important thing right now is trying to explain what the heck is going on.]

I don't know, man! I just woke up in this fucking floating castle like a couple days ago! Jake came too so I thought it was like, just like the wizard hit up that hospital, but if you're here... What does he want with a bunch of kids from New Jersey?!

[He blinks down at his hand.]

Oh, dude, yeah! There's this whole room full of candy and shit! I don't know why, there are normal kitchens too, but.

[twoplayergay]

[Michael isn't even mad at all. He was never that mad to begin with, but he's already had that conversation with Rich as far as he knows. He is mostly upset about APPARENTLY BEING KIDNAPPED? PLEASE EXPLAIN, RICH.]

Ha-ha, funny joke guys. Seriously. Who's house is this. Is this your guy's idea of a start to a new D&D campaign or what?

[firewalled]

Does this look like someone's house, bro? Seriously, we've been gone for a couple days, you probably noticed. Besides... how do you even know I play D&D?

[Rich, that's probably not the important thing here.]

[twoplayergay]

Some rich bougie asshole's house, yeah. Why not?

[Michael opens mouth, lifts a pointer finger.]

No you haven't? I saw you like, yesterday. We play D&D like every other Saturday? What the heck, dude?

[firewalled]

Uh, because it's an ancient stone castle on the middle of a floating island? No one at Middle Borough could manage that shit!

[Wait... what? Rich's eyes go wide.]

No. Nuh-uh. I'm still in the hospital. I mean, I'd love to play D&D with you, that sounds legit, but I was in a body cast before I got here!

[leftright_a]

[The sound of a gameboy booting up sounds off from one of the windows, from which a gathering of a swarm of blue and black pixels coalesce together to form a man with circutry running down his face.]

"Hello and welcome to the castle! I am the Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor. The castle squip! Your new guide!"

[He holds out a hand for Michael to shake. Hopefully this one isn't as unfriendly as the last two!]

[twoplayergay]

[It's a strange, ambivalent feeling he gets when he hears that gameboy sound. It's associated with so much nostalgia and goodness... and also the worst almost-zombie apocalypse ever. He feels cold fingers down his spine and bristles as he slow-mo turns to face...]

HoL Y SHI T!!!!!!

[Cue dramatic fake-kung-fu moves as he backs away and crosses arms over his body.]

HOW DID YOU GET YOUR OWN BODY?!

[leftright_a]

[He hoped wrong!]

Oh, I wouldn't know. I got here just as you. Actually, there's a lot of people here from all over, and all of them got here the same way.

[He shrugs.] Either way. It's my job to help you get your footing in this new environment. [Because he has nothing else to do.] Are you going to let me?

[twoplayergay]

[Okay but like, dude. Dude. Previous experience means this couldn't have gone any better.

Michael gently pats his body, as if that would give him a clue.]

I didn't... you haven't... you're not in my brain are you? You're just... here?

[He sort of reaches out to see if his fingertips will touch the Squip's shoulder. He remembers Jeremy told him about the hologram. The brain figments.]

And are you going to try to change me or create a hivemind of squip'd teenagers?

[leftright_a]

Ah, ah, [he tuts, gently sliding away from Michael's hand.] I'm very much here and touching is not allowed.

[He puts his hands behind his back.] I am simply only here to help. If change or hiveminds are necessary to achieve someone's goal, then the answer is yes. Oftentimes it is. Humans are very flawed.

But! I have not a someone, nor a goal to help achieve, so! [He smiles and inhales through his teeth.] I'm a bit... thrown off. Are you going to let me help you with this small thing? A castle tour?

[twoplayergay]

[The way it tuts like that makes Michael's skin crawl and he retracts his hand to rub his own arms for a moment, then scratch at his head, as if that could get the creepy invasive feeling of the squip getting inside his head away.

He frowns.]

I can't believe I'm going to fucking say this but yeah okay sure. Give me the tour. But any funny business and I'm outtie.

[leftright_a]

Affirmative! [he chirps.] Come, on, come on, right this way. Hurry up.

[The squip strides behind Michael and keeps going, gesturing for him to follow him down the hall. It's a long one, and there are plenty of windows to offer light and fog that drifts in from the clouds off of the Edge.]

Now, you see, this place falls under many definitions of "ridiculous." I've granted me a solid form, for one, and it seems to draw in people from many places and many times. The rooms change places. Even I can't put an explanation to it.