living skyward

This is where they're meant to be. Estu believes that with all his soul, now.

This is where they belong - surrounded by friends and family, free to play and have fun and hold on to each other as they experience so many new things. They belong with food that tastes good and clothes that look nice. And they belong with their pets - the very important thing that Estu is trying to sketch is Puddle. It's also the second thing he's drawn today - the first was a valiant attempt to draw Tauriel's face, signed quite neatly with his much-beloved signature.

They've been here for months, and so much has changed. Surely that means they won't ever go back, doesn't it? Their world has probably moved on without them, and Estu is glad of it.

He's been getting strange headaches, lately, and it feels as though he's been sleeping a lot more than he used to. But only when he's by himself. As long as he's with Esfor, his head is clear and everything is okay. So that's just been more reason to stay with his brother.

He looks up when Esfor speaks, and laughs with delight at the sight of the crown. "good job! you should wear it, and then..."

...i'll draw you! he almost says, but stops as something takes hold of him. No, not one something - two. It's as though he's been seized by both arms and tugged to one side and tugged to the other until he's

ripped

in

two.

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It is a life she never thought she would live: strange, distant from the path she foresaw for herself, yet good. On days like these, she offers Elbereth her praises over and over again.

When she hears Esfor's cry of joy and Estu's words, Tauriel looks up, already smiling. "Well done, ionig! You have--"

But like Estu, she stops. There is a strange feeling in her soul that grows, as if too-strong fingers have wrapped tight around her core. She wavers, thrusts aside her sewing, then reaches for her sons with hands that at once feel as if they were carved of wood.

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It's a strange feeling, and not at all a good one. It only seems to get stronger as time goes on, and as S-4 notices his family members are feeling the same thing. Sans-Serif cuts himself off thanks to something like pain, Tauriel drops her fabric. The Shadows even seem to know something is wrong, crowding a bit closer to the skeleton and letting out concerned squeaks.

"M-Mom? Brother?"

S-4's voice wavers, but it's not just out of fear... he feels like he might actually physically be getting quieter. It's like he's hearing his own voice from far away, across a crowded room. He reaches for Tauriel, gripping one of her hands, despite how numb he feels, before reaching for Sans-Serif.

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He feels like wood, he feels like (too many) one of his nightmares where he's just a doll tangled up in puppet strings with himself. That must be what this is. This is a nightmare, it has to be. Yet he struggles and strains against those strings, reaching for his brother, reaching for his mother. If he can just grab ahold of the two people who first tethered him here, then maybe he really can stay.

"help..." The word is small and strained, barely loud enough to be called a whimper.

His fingertips just brush Tauriel's. Time seems to move so, so slowly as he reaches out for S-4, even as something tries to drag him away.

The something wins.

His hand meets glass, solid and tempered, cutting him off from his brother, from everything. The world takes on a hue of cool, light blue. Stasis fluid. He's in stasis fluid. But it's not until Sans-Serif beats his palm against the glass once more that he realizes where he is. The comprehension brings a thrill of terror with it.

He's back in his pod. And the world outside the glass is unmistakably a lab, with a tall figure visible moving around through his hazy view.

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Her children cry for her and she cannot go to them, and this, beyond the cruel grip around her soul, is what pains her most. She reaches--she reaches--

She is released.

She gasps, whips around. A whine fills her ears; her children imprisoned in too-blue water fills her sight. There is a man in the room, but he has not yet seen her.

On noise-less feet, she makes for the nearest prison.

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S-4 only continues crying, as he reaches out, feels his brother's hand go through his, feels himself lose his grip on the threads of the dream that the castle had offered him, and feels his heart plummet. The world tilts, his vision catches helplessly onto that blue sky he flew a kite with Frisk and Sans-Serif in not too long ago, so bright and beautiful...

The blue takes on an unnatural shade as a different reality filters in, and S-4 bites back a whimper as he realizes where they are. Back in the lab. Of course. He should have known better than to think they'd escape this place forever...

Movement outside the glass catches his eye, and he gasps to see Tauriel still standing before them. Now he's really starting to wonder what is a dream. Did he wake up from the dream, or is he still in one? Nothing makes sense anymore. Everything is so numb...

His distress catches the attention of the man just behind Tauriel, who turns to look upon his creations with mild surprise.

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The nearest prison from Tauriel's position just happens to be S-4's. It's to that pod that Gaster first starts to move. After all, at first he assumes that the banging he hears must be coming from S-4. It's earlier than he'd expect his younger creation to be awake, but it wouldn't be the first time S-4 has proven livelier than he's expected. He moves without any acknowledgement of Tauriel's presence, intent on checking on his creations.

But halfway across the floor, his gaze meets Sans-Serif's, he sees that his first creation's eyesockets are open for the first time in weeks. And not just open - bright. No longer empty. Gaster gasps aloud, so surprised that he nearly drops the bundle of papers and clipboard in his arms. Hastily recovering most of it, he hastens to stand before the smaller skeleton's pod instead. "Sans-Serif? Are you awake? Can you hear me?" He rests a hand against the glass, peering in with no small amount of concern, but also a flare of hope as well.

Meanwhile, once Serif notices that Tauriel is here, in the lab, his attention is entirely focused on her. His soul feels as though it's burning with relief, warmth suffusing his bones that's better than any relief the stasis fluid could possibly bring. He waves to try to get her attention before he realizes that she's going for his brother instead. That's okay, she'll let S-4 out and then she'll let Serif out and...

And then Gaster is right there, looking in at him. Serif flinches back as much as the liquid will allow, opening his mouth in a gasp that doesn't come. Gaster. Gaster was nice. But would he have stayed nice?

...now, it seems, he has to find out.

But Serif does remember that Gaster is the only one who can properly empty the pods - or at least, he's the only one who ever does. Swallowing down the rush of fear and dread the best he can, he taps his palms against the glass once more, this time in a silent request to be let out. It only takes Gaster a minute to understand. Then he nods, and beams in evident delight at even this much communication before he bends to his work draining the pod. "My word, what a wonderful surprise..."

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In some way--she does not know how--the man does not see her. She spends no time trying to understand, but searches for a way to free her son.

It takes time, long enough for her to hear that this man, though he does not seem alarmed that her children are imprisoned, may yet be an ally. That is good. This is a place foreign to her (though she fears she knows what it is all the same).

At last, she finds a latch on the side of the cell. She presses her fingers against it--

They pass through it.

She claps both hands to her mouth and tells herself, over and over, to breathe.

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S-4 isn’t sure where to look to calm his rapidly mounting panic. Gaster has always helped him stay in control, but just the image of the doctor in front of him once again instead of just being pictured in hazy memories keeps bringing him back to the overwhelming realization that they are no longer at the castle. Looking at Sans-Serif reassures him that his brother is okay, but also confuses him. His brother is awake. He shouldn’t be awake, he was hurt, is he really safe?

And then there’s Tauriel… he looks at her and feels his soul settle just slightly, knowing at least his family is still here, and that she’s going to try to help… but then she approaches the pod, reaches for the release latch… and her hands move through it.

“Mo-!” S-4 cuts off his startled yelp. What would Gaster say if he heard his creations calling out for their mother?

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The liquid drains away through the bottom of the pod, and the walls of it sink down into the base. Gaster moves to help Serif stay upright. A thrill of terror lances through the little skeleton at the sight of those hands reaching out - with a strangled cry of "no!" he shoves Gaster away as forcibly as he can, and tries to run to his brother's pod and the spectre of his mother.

But his legs won't obey, his legs might as well be jelly. He trips badly on the step coming down from the pod, and by the time Gaster has recovered from the shove, Serif has sprawled in a painful, ungainly heap onto the floor. This time, he's too shocked and dizzy to protest as Gaster hastens over and simply picks him up this time. Though that doesn't stop the chill of despair from taking an even tighter hold around his soul.

"You spoke...?" Gaster breathes, wide-eyed and clearly astonished. Then he hears another yelp from S-4's pod, and looks at the other skeleton with the most reassuring smile he can muster. "Just a moment, S-4. I'll be right there."

Still ignoring Tauriel's presence entirely, he sits Serif down at a low table in the middle of the room, and then goes to repeat the release process on S-4's pod. "See, I told you I would take care of your brother, and now he's back with us..."

Serif sits where he's left, staring straight ahead, trembling finely but otherwise feeling increasingly numb with shock and disbelief. Was it all a dream? Tauriel is still here, but...is she just a dream he and S-4 are still having?

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Whatever fears have seized her, she must pay them no mind. If she has become a ghost by some means, she must seek understanding later. Her children are afraid, and that triumphs all else.

She runs past the man to Estu, drops to her knees, and throws her arms around him. She does not stop to think that maybe she will not be able to touch him. She must hold him fast, for his sake and hers.

"Do not be afraid, ionenin vell," she whispers to him. "I am here. I will not leave you."

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S-4's vision flits around the room desperately, from his brother to Gaster to Tauriel and back to his brother again. Sans-Serif is scared, he's hurt and in pain and he needs S-4, but S-4 can't get out. He starts tapping on the glass, though he does try to silence it when Gaster speaks to him.

He should wait and be patient. Gaster will be annoyed if he doesn't listen. He shouldn't make a fuss. But his brother... and Tauriel...

His focus goes back to Tauriel, who's moved from his pod and over to Sans-Serif's side. She's trying to protect him... soothe him... but how much can she accomplish without the ability to touch?

Fresh air moves past his fingerbones, and with a faint gasp, S-4 realizes his pod has drained completely. He stumbles out of the pod, straight over to his family, trying to hold back tears as he wraps his arms around Sans-Serif and as much as he can around Tauriel.

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It's the sound of her voice that reassures him - no matter how scared he is, no matter how much he's panicking, Serif knows he could never imagine the love in Tauriel's voice as accurately as it really sounds. Staring up at her desperately, he reaches out to hug her, heedless of Gaster's gaze on him...but his fingers pass right through her, too. And then it feels as though his very soul has broken.

Sans-Serif's expression twists with grief and loss, that's only soothed a little when he feels S-4's arms around him, and at least he can still cling to his brother. What happened to Tauriel...? Why is she here without being here, what did they do to her?

There's so much he wants to ask, say, demand. But somehow the words all get tangled up inside his skull and none of them want to make it as far as his mouth. Not when it feels like the lab is pressing down all around him, the weight of the mountain all piled up on his shoulders. He tries to call to her, "naneth", but it's as though his teeth have been sealed together and all he can manage are a few stuttering, halting sounds.

Gaster, meanwhile, sighs quietly at the sight of them both before mustering up a smile. "Very good, S-4." He walks over to them, reaches right through Tauriel, and then pauses when doing so makes Sans-Serif yelp and bury his face against S-4's ribcage. The doctor frowns worriedly...and then steps back. "Y-Yes, um. Why don't you help your brother settle down?" He glances towards the door of the lab with a frown. "I'll need to file a report on this. And after that, I'll need to make certain he's acclimating properly to being awake again." The fact that the smaller skeleton is even upright and moving is a miracle. He's not at all sure he believes it's come without some other costs.

Tests. Tests already. No, Serif wants to say. But he knows that it never matters what he says here, so the words don't come.

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Her breath shakes when the man's arm pierces her, and she blenches away. So this is how he did not see her....

But this cannot be right. She cannot stay like this. Surely she must be able to lessen her sons' great fear by some means.

She cannot touch them--but she will touch them. She will not be defeated so easily!

She sets her teeth together and takes in a deep breath. She stretches out her hand, remembering the feeling of Estu's skull beneath her skin...and then she does not need to remember, for she feels the bone of his head in truth.

A grin of triumph lights her face. She is not so helpless after all!

"There, ionnig," she tells him, no longer fearing that she will be heard by the other man. "See? I am here."

She reaches for Esfor's shoulder next. It takes two tries, but she touches him, too.

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S-4 is horrified too, and knowing how badly this is affecting Sans-Serif makes it so much worse. Their mother is... here, but not here, and he's not sure if that's better than her not being here at all. He muffles a gasp when Gaster reaches out, if only because he knows the doctor will be quite upset to see his creations looking like they're frightened by him.

S-4 pulls his brother closer, already whispering reassurances, when he overhears Gaster's words. Immediately, he jolts as if shocked, and he feels a burst of confidence that he knows may be misplaced, but he decides it hardly matters if it means keeping his family safe.

"N-No. Sans-Serif is okay. He doesn't need to do... 'acclimating.' He's okay, I promise."

He tries his best to keep his voice level, but he knows his panic is mounting, so much so that he gasps when he's touched... only for him to look behind him in surprise to see his mother. She's... there? He lets out a quiet sob of relief, unable to hold it back any longer.

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Gaster looks doubtful at S-4's reassurances - he knows that S-4 knows Sans-Serif better than anyone, but doubts that the younger skeleton has all of the context he needs to understand what he knows. But he also knows better than to try and argue that point right now. Besides, this is still one of the longer sentences S-4 has managed. He needs to encourage that.

So he simply nods quietly, and leaves.

S-4 gasps at the sudden contact, and Serif flinches, ducking his head and screwing his eyes shut. But then a few faint shreds of rationality cut through the panic, and he realizes that there could only be one other person in here. Even in the midst of everything else piling on him at once, he wouldn't have missed the presence of another scientist.

So Serif risks opening an eyesocket, sees Tauriel there in a way that she wasn't just a second ago. His eyesockets widen in surprise, and then he smiles up at her in soulfelt relief even as the tears continue to gather. He's so overcome that he doesn't even realize that Gaster has left until he hears the door close behind him, and the sound of footsteps fading down the hall.

Leaving all three of them here. Here together, which is good. But here, which is bad. Serif presses his hands over his face in a vain attempt to muffle the sobs that bubble forth in his ribcage.

"i want to go home..."

Home isn't here, not anymore. Maybe it never was.

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"I know, ioneg vell, I know."

She musters her strength once more, first to kiss the top of Estu's skull, and then Esfor's. It wounds her dreadfully to be unable to do more amid their great fear. Yet they have each other still: with that, she must make herself settle.

"We will find a way to escape. If we look together, surely we will succeed."

It takes her two tries to grip Estu's shoulder as she holds Esfor's, but she does in the end.

"Will you help me, iynenin?"

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S-4 struggles to stop himself from sobbing at the sounds his brother is making, the way he speaks so brokenly. Sans-Serif doesn't want to be here, not at all. Tauriel already hates this place too, and is looking to find a way out.

S-4... S-4 isn't sure what he feels.

Of course he wants to go where his family goes. If they want to escape, he should go with them. And it's not like S-4 enjoys this place at all. He's not ready to go back to a life of tests and experiments and the cruel stares of scientists and the pounding in his skull after his conditioning.

But... this is where he's meant to be. This is where he was created, and where he was supposed to develop until he was ready to protect monsterkind against the anomaly. He can't just... abandon all of that. Even if Frisk is the human they'll find, and it will be okay, he shouldn't just betray everyone else for the sake of his own wants. That's unbelievably selfish. It's honestly a wonder he isn't being punished for disappearing so long already.

At the same time, his main purpose is to protect his brother. Make sure he's safe, which he's certainly not here. Should he try to leave?

...But Gaster wants to make sure Sans-Serif is safe too. Couldn't he help?

He looks between Tauriel and his brother, trying to ignore the feeling like he's being pulled in several directions at once.

"...Dr. Gaster knows the way out. If... if I talk to him, we could leave..."

That would be alright, wouldn't it? If Gaster agreed to it, then S-4 would be doing the right thing.

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Sans-Serif nods slowly, rolling the idea over and over inside his skull. Dr. Gaster had to know the way out. Any of the scientists would, but Gaster was the one who most freely spoke to them. And he was an especially important scientist, though Sans-Serif still wasn't entirely sure how. So if he said it was okay, then it would really have to be okay. Wouldn't it?

But would he ever give such permission? Gaster was outwardly kind, but he'd let so many bad things happen that Sans-Serif couldn't so easily believe anymore.

"...he might not let us," the smaller skeleton mutters morosely. "or he might not listen."

There must be some reason, some excuse. Or else why else would they still be here at all? Sans-Serif remembers Gaster fussing over their "stability". They were only made from one fragment of soul. That had never successfully happened before. It was supposed to mean that they could get overwhelmed easily and that was what part of that last experiment...

lights noise trapped help let me sleep let me die...

...was supposed to help deal with.

He has his doubts. But he doesn't want to say those doubts aloud, when S-4 at least has a plan.

"you can ask, though. you're better at..." Here he gestures vaguely, waving a hand in a vain attempt to encompass his feelings. "...words. especially with him." Some of his last memories before arriving in the castle had been of S-4's halting first attempts at speech. But he'd also heard them slowly getting better, under their creator's careful guidance.

Asking outright could at least give them an idea of how to proceed from here. Maybe it could give them a better idea of Gaster's true intentions, after that horrible last experiment.

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"And I will search for the way when I can," she vows. "If, it seems, I am here a-as a spirit" --no, she will not falter-- "then maybe it is more than Dr. Gaster who will not see me."

Yet she will not begin her search now. Not when her children so plainly need her.

She presses both their shoulders, then lets go. Already, she tires, and she must preserve her strength.

"Now, will you not show me this room? There is much in here I do not understand."

And it will allow her children to dwell upon something other than their imprisonment.

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S-4 has his doubts too. He really isn’t sure if Gaster will agree to this. And he doesn’t want Sans-Serif to feel like he’s trapped here, just because S-4 is too nervous to try escaping without permission.

But this has to work. Gaster always looked after the two of them. If S-4 convinced him that they’d be better looked after somewhere else, than he’d surely agree to all of this.

“He’ll… he’ll listen to me. I’ll ask him when, when he comes back. I’m sure he’ll help us.”

He glances at Tauriel with a smile.

“Thank you, Mom.”

Both for helping with escaping, and for leaving the search until later, when S-4’s brother will feel better. He gets up to his feet, offering a hand to help Sans-Serif up too.

“Um, okay! This is… our room, sort of. It’s where me and S-2 stay when we aren’t busy with… tests. We’re usually in the pods to rest. Especially since… since you needed to recover,” he mutters at Sans-Serif.

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"yeah. thank you, naneth." He offers her a grateful smile, before accepting the hand S-4 offers upright. Even then, Sans-Serif sways a little, and finds himself forced to lean against his brother for support. After a minute, he realizes why - he's smaller, now. He'd grown a little, in the castle - grown at least a little taller, and certainly grown more solid. But here, once again, he's spindly and thin. It's as though his body has been rewound, even if his mind hasn't.

All the more reason to get reacquainted with the place, he supposes - for reasons of practicality, if nothing else.

Sans-Serif nods down at the low table they were seated at. "that's where we do art therapy. so doctor gaster can see what we're thinking about. since...we couldn't really talk before." He never really cared much for it, earlier. He never really saw the point, as he hadn't seen the point of so many things. Now, he hopes that their time to draw won't be cut short, just because they can now express themselves in other ways.

Shoving that thought aside for later, he points instead towards what looks like a bench, set against one wall. "that's where he tests our reflexes and makes sure we can still see." Though despite its stated purpose as an examination table, a few folders and papers have been left there, "just for now". It's always "just for now", at least until Gaster gets distracted and suddenly it's days later. Then Sans-Serif points to a desk crammed against another wall, piled high with tottering stacks of papers and folders around a computer with its screen still glowing. "that's doctor gaster's desk. i think he has another office somewhere, because he goes away a lot while he's working. but i think he keeps the notes on us in here."

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She listens to what her children say and tries to understand, though much is strange to her. Strangest of all is a construction of metal that...glows?

Though she is curious, she does not wish to leave Esfor and Estu's side, especially when Estu is suddenly so weak. And so she only motions to the creation.

"What is that?"

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