High in the Tower / They Sit by the Hour
Mar. 26th, 2016 10:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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((trigger warnings for things like suicide, self-harm, eating disorders, and general mental instability. chara is not a happy camper in this.))
At some point after Tauriel locks them up, Chara falls asleep. They don't remember doing so, nor are they sure how long they sleep. All they know is waking up swathed in sheets and a worn blanket, with the light of a sunrise falling across their face.
At some point after Tauriel locks them up, Chara falls asleep. They don't remember doing so, nor are they sure how long they sleep. All they know is waking up swathed in sheets and a worn blanket, with the light of a sunrise falling across their face.
The sunlight pisses them off.
Everything seems to make them angry at first, even things that they know on a logical level are inconsequential. The bedside stand with the wobbly leg annoys them, so they smash it against the wall. An empty flowerpot kept on the windowsill irritates Chara with its sheer pointless emptiness, so they throw it across the room, where it shatters into hundreds of clay shards. The spare candles in the closet fall to the ground and make an aggravating rattling noise when they roll across the floor after Chara accidentally dislodges them, so they scrape a few against a corner of the room until they're reduced to nothing more than a pile of wax shavings and wicks, then toss the rest out the window in a fit of frustrated impatience.
Eventually they run out of things they can easily break, so they work off their constant simmer of rage by spending the days pacing around and around the tiny tower room, slamming themselves into the walls whenever the urge takes them. At one point they notice a hangnail on one of their fingers and bite it off, and that slowly turns into a regular habit, biting and chewing the skin around their nails until their fingers grow quite raw and unpleasant looking.
Anyone who tries to visit them during this period is met with nothing but hostility.
They stay awake for long periods of time, silently prowling their room until they grow too exhausted to stand, and then they sleep, restlessly dreaming of dust and poison and chasing and being chased.
(A few dreams manage to stand out, however, ones where things aren't entirely awful and, strangely, they usually involve speaking with the residents of the castle, such as Frisk or Grune. Chara doesn't mention these dreams to anyone.)
* * *
Bit by bit, the exhaustion manages to even overtake the rage.
Chara ceases their pacing entirely and stops trying to break the furniture, although they do push their bed right up to the window so that they can sit there and lean on the windowsill. They spend their days watching the clouds drift through the sky and biting their fingers, until one of their guards- a big hairy beast with wings called the Batman- gives them a pair of brown leather gloves to help them stop. After that they work on curbing their tendencies and spend their time staring out the window sans finger biting.
And while they don't become amiable, the boredom grows bad enough that they stop putting deliberate effort into driving any visitors away. Watching someone talk at you is better than nothing, they suppose.
Chara wonders if that's a sign that they've been in the tower too long.
* * *
They come to the decision that they need to start experimenting. They already know they can't force their way out of the tower, but they know a possible loophole they can test: What happens if they die? And maybe, just maybe, they receive the odd visitor to distract them from the growing pains in their stomach.
Chara's not sure if they will wake up outside the tower or not, but they at least know they don't necessarily wake up in the same location as their body and it's not as if they have anything to lose by trying.
Of course, finding a method is difficult. There's nothing to poison themselves with, the bars prevent them from jumping out of the tower, and the guards are careful to keep sharp objects away from them.
In the end, they choose a rather passive suicide method: they stop eating and drinking.
Any water and food they get given is ignored until Chara's guards turn their backs, after which Chara calmly scrapes everything into the privy. They think they read once that a human will die after three days without water and food- or was that three weeks? Three months? In the spirit of scientific curiosity, they decide to pay more careful attention to the passage of time.
Oddly, their decision seems to cheer them up. They start to find little things to keep them occupied. They push their bed back against the wall and save crumbs of bread and similar things to scatter on the windowsill, in the hopes of attracting birds to watch. When they have the energy, they do push-ups. On the occasion that neither of their guards are around they sing snippets of songs they can remember- or even when their guards are around, albeit under their breath.
first phase
Date: 2016-03-29 04:01 am (UTC)Frisk tries to keep an eye out to see if there's a proper schedule, but an odd, fluttering anxiousness in their chest paired with their strange dreams (which they have yet to learn are shared) has them take a risk. They simply sneak away, stealing up the stairs to Chara's tower once they see a flash of Tauriel down a hall, and hope they won't need to deal with Batman. They've had enough of eavesdropping lately.
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Date: 2016-04-11 04:52 am (UTC)Or maybe not. Their dreams haven't exactly been restful lately.
But yet again, they're left with a paradoxical feeling of exhaustion paired with sheer restlessness, and few outlets to burn it off. And after having breakfast they were left with their empty dishes while Tauriel was off doing... something. (They don't question her activities too much, even when they feel the occasional pangs of curiosity about the outside world.)
Among the breakfast dishes was a small wooden bowl, which was quite sturdy, so until Tauriel came to retrieve it Chara killed time by testing how hard they could throw it against the various corners of the room.
And thus, once Frisk reached the top of the stairs they would be greeted with the sound of a heavy CLUNK from inside Chara's room.
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Date: 2016-04-11 05:10 am (UTC)Are they trying to break out? That wouldn't be surprising. Even if the sound wasn't something smashing directly into the door.
...Anyway. They still have stuff they want to talk about, so they sneak their way to the door until their face is half-pressed against it. "Chara?"
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Date: 2016-04-25 02:43 pm (UTC)Still, they carefully turn around and narrow their eyes at the little gap under the door. It's not big enough to let much more than drafts through- but it is big enough that they think they can see feet moving there, and they're certain it isn't Tauriel.
"Who's there?" they demand.
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Date: 2016-04-25 03:19 pm (UTC)"It's Frisk." There's no cracks in the door to peer through, but they let their face slide until they can try squinting through the keyhole. "What're you doing?"
chara don't say that word that's a naughty word
Date: 2016-04-25 03:37 pm (UTC)"About as much as there is to do in here," they say, perfectly aware that this is exactly the kind of answer Frisk isn't looking for.
It's a large, old-fashioned sort of lock and Chara's room itself is fairly small, so Frisk will be able to see a surprising amount of the room through the keyhole. Mostly, they'll have a view of the window on the other side of the room- the curtains are drawn to let light in- and of Chara, crouched at the foot of the cupboard, and giving them a hostile stare.
"What the hell do you want?"
oh no their innocent ears
From:and so frisk's innocence was forever and ever lost all due to the evil machinations of chara
From:weeping in the distance
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From:chara being rude again
From:good thing frisk barely cares
From:frisk u are 2 chill
From:v(-_-)v
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From:thread end soon, d'you think?
From:probably /o/
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From:thread end now~?
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Date: 2016-03-29 08:36 pm (UTC)"Greetings."
I'm gonna say this takes place at some point during phase 2
Date: 2016-04-11 06:18 am (UTC)That doesn't mean that the Chara inside the room isn't alerted to the other's presence, even before they speak- they've been there long enough that they can recognize the sound of Tauriel or Batman's footsteps, and this definitely isn't either of those. It's just enough to summon up the interest to look away from the window and towards the door, and to listen when they hear the greeting.
...They recognize the phrasing, but not the voice. (It's been a long time since they've heard recordings of their own voice, after all, and this one is older than theirs to boot.) Chara narrows their eyes in the direction of the door, wondering exactly what's going on this time.
"What," they say.
TW: Mild dissociation
Date: 2016-04-12 06:26 am (UTC)Chara doesn't remember what they sounded like younger. All they know is this voice is different from theirs.
"I won't pretend I know your situation, and I'm not going to bother giving you pity. I'm here because I had to know if you're another version of me. I am Chara. If the castle isn't lying, you are too." Welp, not the best way to go about it. Might as well get it over with though.
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Date: 2016-04-25 06:52 pm (UTC)Oh.
Chara straightens up.
"Is that so," they say. "You'll excuse me for saying so, but. That sounds implausible."
Implausible. Sure. Like being in a flying castle in the sky, like coming back from the dead, like traveling through time. Like meeting a version of that kid you used to share a body with who comes from an alternate timeline.
Chara reaches up and clutches the locket around their throat.
It seems like a stupid prank. The world doesn't need two Charas. One's bad enough as it is. But if they've learned anything from life, it's that the world never runs out of badness.
"...I'll concede it isn't impossible. Under the circumstances. But if you want me to believe you, tell me something that only Chara would know."
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Date: 2016-04-26 01:42 pm (UTC)Words are meaningless. What Chara needed is proof.
They undo their locket and slide it beneath the door.
"Give it back when you're done." Their words lace with warning. If it truly is a version of Chara, they wouldn't dare damage what is most precious to them.
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Date: 2016-05-20 01:28 am (UTC)They slide, slowly, off of their bed and crouch by the door, picking up the locket and cradling it in their hands. Heart shaped, it certainly looks like one of the two lockets- of which there are now at least three, they think- and when they open it up, there's the familiar, distressingly tender, message of friendship inside.
It's not definitive proof. Frisk had picked up a locket like it too. This person could've somehow gotten their hands on a copy as well. But then, why would anyone bother pretending to be Chara?
They gently replace the locket at the edge of the door and push it through, giving the other Chara a glimpse of skinny fingers.
"Well then, 'Chara," they say. "Why did you come here?"
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From:TW: Dissociation, panic attack
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From:TW: Panic attack
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From:Those two are like Diet Coke & Mentos.
From:For Batman
Date: 2016-04-26 03:00 am (UTC)In the end, it is their choice to live or die--yet to allow them to starve would grieve Frisk, and that she cannot bear.
Though it is not her turn to set a watch upon Chara's door, still she returns to the tower. She needs to speak with the Batman, to see what must be done.
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Date: 2016-05-17 05:49 pm (UTC)Chara had fallen asleep a few minutes ago, something they'd been spending a lot of their time doing. It technically makes things peaceful compared to the early days of their imprisonment and yet, knowing the source of their lethargy only leaves Batman agitated every time they collapse.
It isn't as if he hasn't tried to induce Chara to eat, but neither coaxing nor intimidation has had much of an effect. He has to admit he'd be impressed by their willpower if only they ever channeled it in nondestructive ways.
Preoccupied as he might be by his brooding, Batman's still alert to any activity and he easily catches the sound of footsteps coming up the tower. He lowers his book, and watches until Tauriel's finally within view.
"Tauriel," he greets her, "You're here early." A bit of a surprise- while she's never been late or complained, he's suspected more than once that this job isn't one she cares for.
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Date: 2016-05-19 06:49 pm (UTC)There is no need to say which matters about which she speaks. It is plain to both.
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Date: 2016-06-03 08:14 am (UTC)Batman shuts his book. "If you have any suggestions, go ahead and voice them," he says briskly. "I've considered the possibility that we'll have to start forcing Chara to eat, but long-term that could worsen their psychological state."
Although considering Chara's violent tendencies and the fact they're in the midst of a drawn-out suicide attempt, it's hard to imagine what Chara in a worse state would be like.
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Date: 2016-06-03 06:45 pm (UTC)She has not asked Frisk what their spirit had found while they were dead. She has not dared. But she does not think it was good.
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Date: 2016-08-11 11:43 pm (UTC)He shifts the subject slightly to ask "Have they said anything to you about it?"
Chara's either stayed silent on the subject of their food avoidance or, when Batman's tried confronting them, rigidly stuck to blatantly false excuses like "I'm not hungry." It seems unlikely that they might have slipped anything about their motivations to Tauriel, but it doesn't hurt to ask.
#1: I'm gonna gradually have Grune reply to all three, but Chara, you are emotionally tiring.
Date: 2016-05-19 06:53 pm (UTC)She knocks on the door and calls, "Chara?"
Are they awake?
chara tires out themselves tbh
Date: 2016-06-06 06:02 am (UTC)"What?" they say. "Here to finish the job?"
HERE COMES MOM (also i don't know how large the bars are so i improvised a lil!)
Date: 2016-09-16 03:47 pm (UTC)The height, truthfully, is a bit intimidating-- but Duchess is a cat, and cats have an uncanny ability to always land on their feet.
She slides between the bars and notices someone inside.
A child. Is this their room?
"Hello." She's still by the window. "How are you?"
big enough to fit a cat, small enough to keep in an eleven year old :V
Date: 2016-09-23 02:58 pm (UTC)Only, this time, it seems they've lured in a cat.
Duchess will see a child with big red eyes, leaning against the front of their bed, watching Duchess with rapt attention. They blink, a little, when Duchess speaks, but one doesn't live around monsters for a year without learning to take a certain degree of weirdness in stride.
"Greetings," they say, politely. "I am perfectly well, thank you."
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Date: 2016-09-27 04:03 pm (UTC)She drops onto the floor and pads around the room, noting how the door seems very securely shut; but why for? Something to ask about later, perhaps.
"Perfectly well." She echoes with a silvery purr-- tail brushes against their ankle, curls.
"What a quaint little room." Sits, at Chara's feet and butts up against their waist.
"How long have you been here?" She means the castle, but it's open-ended enough that Chara can say near whatever they please.
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Date: 2016-10-01 08:46 pm (UTC)"Is it?" they say, glancing away from Duchess for once in order to scan the area. 'Sparse' seems a more accurate description, though Chara has to admit that's mostly their own fault. With their sullenness and violent outbursts, they haven't put any effort into making their room- cell, really- homey at all. Just the reverse in fact.
Chara blinks, feeling Duchess's fur brushing against them. It's not an unpleasant sensation- their heart beats a little faster, not bold enough yet to try touching the cat with their bare hands. "I've been here a while," they say, keeping their response as vague as the question.
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Date: 2016-10-03 04:07 pm (UTC)She returns the gaze, though notably softer and tempered with gentleness. "A while?"
A while. This isn't a place to keep a child. (And by now she suspects that they're being kept) perhaps in a time out, perhaps something more severe than that.
"Are you feeling alright, dear?"
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From:me: hit in the face by marching band
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From:want to end it here?
From:Sure~
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