[open: tw for blood, mind fuckery, suicidal ideation] I guess it's over now

[dr_awesome]

Before:

He just needed something fun. That's what he's been telling himself. After nights of various unpleasant dreams being hijacked by his friends, and then being forcibly shoved into everyone else's weird nightmares like a far less fun version of the Matrix, Watts needs a break. He's not helping Sans with his science. He's not trying to wander the castle and have conversations with people that more than likely are annoyed by him. He just... needs some stupid harmless fun.

And when there's no gaming consoles or wifi in the castle, you have to get a little creative.

Apparently, Neil's codes aren't completely useless in the castle. Sure, he can't reset memories, disable speech or taste, turn off his visibility, or even lure out mementos, but he still has some skill with manipulating data.

He's found a nice little private space in the lounge, and passersby may find him focusing very hard on a patch of air in front of him. Literally a patch, it seems to jut out from the rest of the air, shimmering and shuddering in front of Neil's hand. Eventually, it grows and morphs, changing colours... and in another instant, there's a tabby cat letting out a loud meow as it's suddenly dropped from the air back down to the ground.

"Haha, yes!" Neil gets down to his knees, scratching behind one of the cat's ears. The cat surveys him and lets out another mew.

"Hm... not exactly up to my usual standards, but I'll have to make do. Now, what else can I try..."

After:

Neil's still in the lounge... it's just that now there are more of them.

There seem to be a literal crowd of scientists slouching around the lounge, leaned back on couches, staring out windows, walking in place. They're all mumbling to each other, some of them more clear than others. One of them smiles at a double of himself as you walk past.

"Well, I suppose I had a good run."

The other stares back at him. "Not good enough, it seems."

There's one that has cornered another Neil against the wall, constantly slamming his fist into the doppleganger's gut. "It's how people blew off steam before FPS were invented," he reassures you with a grin.

Still more snippets can be heard if you push through the crowd. "We always succeed, because we're awesome." "The geezers just keep getting crazier..." "I'd be screwed either way."

In the center of the group is Neil. The real one, not buzzing in and out of existence in bursts of static, but... he still doesn't look good. He's curled up on himself, nails digging into the floor, feebly coughing and hacking as blood dribbles down his jaw and onto the collar of his shirt. A few copies of the same woman stand around him, looking down at him with the same mixture of annoyance and apathy.

"Tell me what you see." One says, holding out a pill bottle. She takes off the cap and holds it upside down. Nothing falls out.

"Shut... just shut up." Neil mutters hoarsely, and another one laughs, answering in his own voice.

"'Shut up' isn't my name, you know."

He tries to pull himself away from them, crawling along the floor.

"Why are you working so hard for this? 'All this trouble, just for some girl.' That's what I thought you'd say."

One of them finally turns to look at you, and moves so she can block Neil from view. "Get out. This ain't a movie and you're no hero. You're just being a moron."

There's more coughing from behind her, but Neil doesn't seem to be trying to move anymore. There's no point, is there? He's fucked up enough here already. And he didn't want to be here anyways...

"Why would you waste time like that?"

Yes, why would he? Being here isn't doing himself any good. He's not going to fix his machine, he's not going to make any advances... all he's doing is running out his clock.

Might as well let the batteries die a little early.

Comments

[dr_awesome]

He's quickly trying to backtrack, swallow back his tears, put on his usual act. He's spent so long with this he should have made peace with it. If he was really so scared, wouldn't he be reaching out to people? He wouldn't be hiding away under the guise of being antisocial. None of what he does makes sense anymore.

But... none of what Tauriel does makes sense either. She should abandon him. She shouldn't care this much. If anyone would let him die, it would be her. Why would she bother to search so much just for him?

"...You're wasting your time," he mutters. "There's more important things to do here than try to find a cure for an ass like me."

[lightofthestars]

"My time is my own to use as I see fit," she tells him in return. "If I choose to seek a way to help a suffering friend, that is my own business."

In spite of her words, her hand remains stroking his hair, until she picks up the wash cloth to begin cleaning his face anew.

[dr_awesome]

"Yeah, I guess I can't stop you..."

He trails off as she starts wiping his face, his face going red with embarrassment. This is exactly why he didn't want to tell anyone. He didn't want to be pitied, coddled like some sort of child. He squirms away from the hand in his hair, at least.

"Seriously, I don't feel that bad. You don't need to do all that."

[lightofthestars]

"Are you now to tell me what I need to do?" she says back. "You will be happier if I clean the blood from you before it dries."

She takes her hand from his hair and rinses the cloth, then begins to wash the blood from his neck.

[dr_awesome]

"I'm not going to tell you want to do. I just... stop touching me like that."

He scowls, but lifts his head so that his neck is easier to reach. His breathing is still ragged, but at least all the blood is dry now.

[lightofthestars]

"Very well." She gives him a curious look, but says only, "I am sorry to have caused you discomfort."

Dried blood is harder to clean than wet, but she is not going to cause him further harm by scrubbing his neck. Instead, she keeps her touch gentle and makes many passes over his skin.

[dr_awesome]

"...It's fine. It's not uncomfortable exactly. I guess it's... a human thing."

It's weird. No one's ever touched his hair like that before. Not even his real mother. It's too foreign and strange to accept. Scrubbing his neck is only slightly less weird, but he remains still.

[lightofthestars]

She looks him over before shaking her head. "Your people forbid such strange things. It is hard for me to know what is right to you."

Before returning to washing him, she runs a finger down his cheek. Short hairs rasp oddly against her skin. "I must ask: is this normal for humans? Or is this part of your sickness?"

[dr_awesome]

"Yeah, you know what? I don't even have excuses for what we forbid... uh..."

He was about to go on a rant about the idiocy of humanity, but it's a little weird to continue on when she's rubbing his cheek. He looks at her, resisting the urge to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

"Uh... yeah? It's normal? Have you not heard of stubble before?"

[lightofthestars]

She shakes her head, unable to keep her finger still. The "stubble" prickles like short-cut grass, and yet it is on his cheek!

"What is it?"

[dr_awesome]

"It's just hair, instead of on the top of your head, it's on your face. Usually I shave it off, but there aren't a lot of razors here, and I'm not cool enough to just use a switchblade or whatever."

[lightofthestars]

"That is strange to me indeed. Only Elves who have reached a very great age grow beards, and I have never met such an elf in all my years."

As she bends down to clean the cloth once more, she peeks beneath his chin. The "stubble" grows there, too.

"It seems your people are unalike mine in many ways." More, even, than she had once thought. "Tell me, do humans grow hair in other, different places?"

[dr_awesome]

"Well, that's just another reason why elves are different. Guys can start growing beards when they're only fourteen, sometimes. I've never seen the appeal, though."

As weird as this is, he lets her examine him, and even when she asks that question, he makes a valiant effort not to be embarrassed.

"Uh, yeah. Humans grow hair pretty much all over their bodies. Arms, legs, chest. It isn't just the head."

[lightofthestars]

The cloth stops upon his neck; her eyes go wide and her lips part. "Fourteen? Surely this cannot be true!"

[dr_awesome]

"Would I lie to you? Humans are crazy weird like that."

God, her shock is hilarious. It makes him laugh for a moment, before he dissolves into more harsh coughing.

"Oh mighty Valar, ease his pain."

[lightofthestars]

At once, without looking away, she reaches for another cup and fills it with thyme tea. She holds it out for him to take when he can, whispering as she does, "Ai Belain veleg, eitho i neg dîn."

She cannot bear to see him in such pain. Surely the Belain will have mercy upon him.

[dr_awesome]

He takes a long, shuddering breath, slowly reaching for the tea and taking a sip. Eventually, he finds the energy to speak again.

"...Sorry. God, this is such a mess."

[lightofthestars]

She watches him as he drinks, ready to sit him up should he choke.

When he speaks, pain strikes her anew. "I wish you had told me. I would not have thought less of you for being sick."

[dr_awesome]

"Well, uh, I'm used to keeping it a secret. Was only planning to slip up the one time here. There was no point telling anyone, since either I get home and get to give myself some sort of conclusion, or I stay here and waste away."

He laughs softly.

"No one really has any control over when death strikes."

[lightofthestars]

It is...hard to hear one so very young speak like this, especially one she has come to count as a friend.

"Even so, you did not need to suffer. I could have helped you long before this."

She could have begun to search for a cure while he still had some health.

[dr_awesome]

"There's no real way to help me. And I didn't want to bother anyone with trying to figure this out. I mean, I'm doing enough trying to fix it myself."

Not that there's much he can do, trapped in this place without his modified machine.

"My foolish friend" is what she just called him, btw.

[lightofthestars]

For a moment, she looks down at him. Then, she shakes her head.

"Mellonenin úhel, did you not think that your friends would want to be troubled by you? We care for you, Neil. We want to help you in however small ways we can."

AS SHE SHOULD

[dr_awesome]

...He may not be perfect at speaking Elvish, but what he can pick up on, paired with the tone of her voice, is enough to make him flush. He looks away from her, desperately trying to grab onto the asshole persona he always adopts, but of course it's gone now and there's just a nerdy kid in need of friendship underneath.

"Well, to be honest, I... didn't think any of you were actually my friends." He snorts. "I didn't ask you to care about me... you all must be crazy, putting that much effort into me. But maybe I'm just crazy for not seeing it."

You giant nerd PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOU OKAY. GEEZ.

[lightofthestars]

She lays a hand upon his shoulder for a moment. "Or maybe we have not shown our care for you as we should have. No matter the reason, I hope you know now that you have our friendship."

There is but a little blood left upon his neck. She picks up the cloth, dips it in the cooling water, and reaches to wipe the last of it away.

BUT YOU SHOULDN'T THO

[dr_awesome]

"I... guess I do. It's a little hard to accept, that's all."

He squirms a bit when she wipes the last of it away, but it's basically weak and embarrassed flailing. When she stops, he looks up at her, and then back down at the bed.

"Um... thanks. For being my friend even if I was an ass."