[open: tw for blood, mind fuckery, suicidal ideation] I guess it's over now

[dr_awesome]

Before:

He just needed something fun. That's what he's been telling himself. After nights of various unpleasant dreams being hijacked by his friends, and then being forcibly shoved into everyone else's weird nightmares like a far less fun version of the Matrix, Watts needs a break. He's not helping Sans with his science. He's not trying to wander the castle and have conversations with people that more than likely are annoyed by him. He just... needs some stupid harmless fun.

And when there's no gaming consoles or wifi in the castle, you have to get a little creative.

Apparently, Neil's codes aren't completely useless in the castle. Sure, he can't reset memories, disable speech or taste, turn off his visibility, or even lure out mementos, but he still has some skill with manipulating data.

He's found a nice little private space in the lounge, and passersby may find him focusing very hard on a patch of air in front of him. Literally a patch, it seems to jut out from the rest of the air, shimmering and shuddering in front of Neil's hand. Eventually, it grows and morphs, changing colours... and in another instant, there's a tabby cat letting out a loud meow as it's suddenly dropped from the air back down to the ground.

"Haha, yes!" Neil gets down to his knees, scratching behind one of the cat's ears. The cat surveys him and lets out another mew.

"Hm... not exactly up to my usual standards, but I'll have to make do. Now, what else can I try..."

After:

Neil's still in the lounge... it's just that now there are more of them.

There seem to be a literal crowd of scientists slouching around the lounge, leaned back on couches, staring out windows, walking in place. They're all mumbling to each other, some of them more clear than others. One of them smiles at a double of himself as you walk past.

"Well, I suppose I had a good run."

The other stares back at him. "Not good enough, it seems."

There's one that has cornered another Neil against the wall, constantly slamming his fist into the doppleganger's gut. "It's how people blew off steam before FPS were invented," he reassures you with a grin.

Still more snippets can be heard if you push through the crowd. "We always succeed, because we're awesome." "The geezers just keep getting crazier..." "I'd be screwed either way."

In the center of the group is Neil. The real one, not buzzing in and out of existence in bursts of static, but... he still doesn't look good. He's curled up on himself, nails digging into the floor, feebly coughing and hacking as blood dribbles down his jaw and onto the collar of his shirt. A few copies of the same woman stand around him, looking down at him with the same mixture of annoyance and apathy.

"Tell me what you see." One says, holding out a pill bottle. She takes off the cap and holds it upside down. Nothing falls out.

"Shut... just shut up." Neil mutters hoarsely, and another one laughs, answering in his own voice.

"'Shut up' isn't my name, you know."

He tries to pull himself away from them, crawling along the floor.

"Why are you working so hard for this? 'All this trouble, just for some girl.' That's what I thought you'd say."

One of them finally turns to look at you, and moves so she can block Neil from view. "Get out. This ain't a movie and you're no hero. You're just being a moron."

There's more coughing from behind her, but Neil doesn't seem to be trying to move anymore. There's no point, is there? He's fucked up enough here already. And he didn't want to be here anyways...

"Why would you waste time like that?"

Yes, why would he? Being here isn't doing himself any good. He's not going to fix his machine, he's not going to make any advances... all he's doing is running out his clock.

Might as well let the batteries die a little early.

Comments

[sansational]

"hm." Neil's answer is not encouraging, especially since he doesn't really seem capable of focusing right now. But Sans still glances back and holds up two crossed fingerbones. "yep. fingers crossed." And he takes a deep breath as he steps out into the hall, already subconsciously bracing himself. When nothing immediately bad happens, he just tries to keep Neil focusing. Sans glances up and down the hallway they've found themselves in, scratching anxiously at his skull. "where was your room again?"

[dr_awesome]

There's still the sound of voices from behind them, but they don't seem to be getting any closer, just arguing amongst themselves. Neil breathes out a slightly relieved sigh and tries to gesture to the right.

"Down at the end of the hall."

Considering the mess his room usually is, it shouldn't be too hard to point out.

[sansational]

"on we go."

He floats Neil down to the end of the hall and, indeed, it only takes two open doors for him to spot the room beyond that is undoubtedly Neil's. And even if it isn't, he should feel right at home there for now anyway. Sans carefully directs Neil over the pile of assorted detritus, over the mattress, and lowers him down before letting him drop the last inch or so.

It wasn't too much of a walk, but Neil is a heavier weight than Sans is used to carrying. So perhaps he can be forgiven for following Neil into the room and hopping up to sit on the mattress with him, the better to catch his breath.

[dr_awesome]

It looks like his room, as much as Neil can see through his blurry vision, and that's all that really matters. Frankly, he could sleep just about anywhere after the mess that just occurred.

He can't help a shuddering gasp when he's dropped, but thankfully, landing on a soft mattress doesn't agitate his condition further. He exhales slowly, turning his head to look over at his... friend. That's still going to take some getting used to.

"...sorry. Didn't mean to make you exercise. Know how much you hate that..."

[sansational]

"no worries. i think i owed you one anyway." He waves a hand dismissively. "we'll just call it even." He tends to collect a lot of favors, but Sans isn't one to really ever call them in.

Then Sans narrows his eyesockets thoughtfully, trying to take a proper look at Neil now that they're both somewhere quiet. Terminally ill. By definition, there is next to nothing he can do about that...but there's also no denying that the human looks utterly miserable, and he wants to try.

"you want something to drink? lemme grab ya something to drink. be right back." And without giving Neil more than a few seconds to even think of arguing, Sans vanishes from the bedside. He'll be gone for a little over thirty seconds before there's a sound like a soft "whoosh" from outside, and Sans pads back into the room with a cup in hand. He carefully gets back up onto the bed and offers it to Neil, though he braces himself to hold it steady should it become necessary.

[dr_awesome]

"Doesn't exactly seem like the same thing." Helping Sans with experiments was weird, but simple enough with his education. It was almost enough to stave off homesickness. Working in a makeshift lab was sort of like being in Sigmund again. It was fun... and Watts is pretty sure 'fun' isn't the word you'd use to describe carrying a dying man away from projections of his self-hatred.

Neil probably wouldn't have argued with a drink anyways, so he's about halfway through nodding when Sans is just... gone. Oh. Okay. Apparently he can do more than teleport a couple of feet. Weird. Neil would usually be a overexcited ball of energy when Sans reappeared, in the same fashion as a certain yellow lizard when on the topic of human girls with cat ears, but with how exhausted he is, he just smiles slightly.

The cup is taken between shaky hands, but he can hold it steady enough to take a sip. The water tastes mildly metallic, but that's probably thanks to the blood. He holds back another cough, passing the cup back over before wiping the remainder of blood away from his mouth with his already stained sleeve. He makes a face, but says nothing.

[sansational]

Sans takes the cup and sets it carefully on the bedside table. A quick glance inside is enough to verify that any metallic taste is, indeed, from Neil's blood. He makes a face - yuck.

"there are a few people in the castle who can heal. unfortunately, i'm not one of 'em." A fact that he regrets more and more by the day. "maybe they can at least take the edge off the pain. how were you keeping it quiet before?" comparing what he knows now to what he'd seen and hadn't thought about before, it seems obvious that Neil isn't just recently sick.

[dr_awesome]

"...don't suppose the 'ran into a wall' excuse isn't going to work, huh?" Not that it worked for Eva. Neil looks down at his hands, swallows down that uncomfortable wave of nausea, and just takes a few deep breaths for a moment.

It's hard to breathe now. It was so much easier when he had those stupid pills...

He roots in one of his labcoat pockets and pulls out a smooth, plastic container. Its transparency makes it easy to tell, there's nothing inside, but there is a label on the bottle:

"Watts, Neil. Take 1 capsule as needed. Tramadol." And so on. He passes it over to Sans, silent as he reads over the label.

"...I ran out earlier this week. Looks like my usual symptoms are being complicated by my withdrawal symptoms. Isn't that just peachy?"

He pauses again, unsure if he really wants to keep this conversation going, but he knows a fellow scientific mind can't just let something stay unanswered. He's caught now.

"Anyways, this isn't something you can heal, so.'

[sansational]

"not in the slightest."

He reaches out to take the bottle, holds it up to the light to squint at the label. Medicine of this sort isn't terribly common in the Underground - it can't be, they don't have the resources to make it and can't rely on enough of a supply falling down through the waterfalls to even replicate most forms of drugs. Magic makes up a lot of the difference, but not everything. But the purpose of what used to be in this little bottle isn't hard to guess.

"damn."

But Sans isn't about to let this go unanswered, and he's already trying to make out anything that might look like an ingredient list when Neil speaks again. Sans frowns stubbornly, but doesn't reply right away.

"gotta be a way we can replicate the effects."

[dr_awesome]

He could always give a proper answer if Sans really wanted it, but it's not hard to understand from the label on the bottle. Even without human medicine, the idea of painkillers must be common knowledge, right?

The ingredient list is in small print on the back. Tramadol hydrochloride, starch, microcrystalline cellulose, magnesium stearate, iron oxide, titanium dioxide, indigo carmine... It would look complicated to anyone else, but to someone scientifically trained, it's just the actual medicine plus various dyes to form the capsule. Watts isn't sure if Sans will be able to tell, though.

"I don't know. Might be hard to replicate the crippling addiction, you know?"

...That's a joke, he swears.

[sansational]

Sans knows enough of the ingredient list to know that the important bits are not easily replicateable here in the castle. If he could make something like tramadol hydrochloride, he could also make something like the stasis fluid that S-4 and Sans-Serif both by rights need to grow properly. Then again, with three people in need of serious medical intervention, maybe that should be his cue to step up his efforts again.

...Sans isn't sure he likes the thought of that. Getting too deep into science almost killed him last time, and it might still kill him now. But it's something to keep in mind. If he could just get his hands on the base component, the hydrochloride part shouldn't be as complicated and the actual reaction should be pretty standard and he can at least recognize which components are supposed to be the dye...

"mind if i hold on to this?"

He glances over at Neil, and...that doesn't sound like a joke. Not at all. In fact, it gets the rarest possible response it is possible to get from Sans where even the base attempt at a joke is concerned.

"not funny, pal."

[dr_awesome]

It's not. Watts would have tried, but he's not a pharmacist, and he doubts his data manipulation will be able to be that delicately balanced. Plus, he doubts they'd actually have an effect... data is just data. There's no way it's real, no matter what Frisk thought.

But he can see the gears turning in Sans' skull, and that means at least someone might have a shot. He's not sure he wants Sans to try either, but... hey, if Watts can reprise his role as lab partner, it shouldn't be that bad.

He waves a hand, and is about to respond that Sans can keep it if he wants, when the skeleton actually gets... upset for a second. Immediately, Watts backtracks, not wanting a repeat of the party.

"It was supposed to be a joke! God, I'm sorry, I won't say it again-"

He cuts himself off with another fit of coughing. He shouldn't have gotten so excitable when he still hasn't had anything for his pain, is still in as bad a condition as before. Maybe even worse; the coughing is turning into retching, as sweat beads on Neil's forehead.

[sansational]

Sans immediately feels guilty when Neil dissolves into another coughing fit. This is hard for him, but clearly infinitely more miserable for Neil. Trying to correct the human's sense of humor can come later. For now, he just moves a little nearer, reaches out to brace a bony hand against Neil's back to maybe make the coughing fit a little easier. When his face starts to shine with sweat, Sans even reaches out with a corner of his jacket to try and dab it away. As he does so, he thinks over his options.

His first thought, of course, is Tauriel - but her magic seems most effective on monsters. He needs someone who knows the plants out in the garden better than he does, and...aha. Sans smiles in relief even as he mentally kicks himself. What an idiot he can be, sometimes.

First, he tries to help Neil drink a little more water, and then he lays out his plan. "think i know who can help for now. you gonna be okay on your own for a little bit?" The gardens are a very big place, after all, and even Sans might have to search a bit to find her.

[dr_awesome]

It's... really weird, having someone nearby when he's like this. Neil's used to being alone on his bad days, riding out symptoms on his own. He hardly even goes to emergency nowadays: that would mean calling someone to take him to the hospital. Pointless.

Having someone watch and wait for his fits to subside, to even bother to touch him or wipe the sweat away, to even try to help considering the long years he's spent perfecting his facade of apathetic asshole, it's more kindness than he deserves. More kindness than he really wants. It's alien and uncomfortable and panic-inducing, and part of him would bolt out of the room if he could, but he knows Sans would catch up to him damn quick. So he just struggles through it, forces himself to breathe and then take the offered water (Sans has to hold the cup, and Neil tries not to feel like a pathetic child).

"Yeah. Everything's alright. Seriously, I just need some rest now." If he can get any... insomnia is one of the withdrawal symptoms, and he's been a night owl at the best of times.

[sansational]

Sans actually thinks that he believes that - or at least, he hopes that Neil is telling the truth. But he equally doubts that the human will be capable of getting much rest like this, no matter how much good it might do. And Sans can dab at his face from now until sundown, but he can't do anything to help with that.

He can, however, find someone who can do more.

"yeah, well. let's see if we can get you that rest." He reaches out to pat Neil on the shoulder, and then he disappears. And if Neil thinks that Sans' rather fumbling attempts at care are awkward, then his day is about to get even worse.

Because Sans reappears in the gardens, and immediately sets off in search of Grune.

[lostinmyway]

Grune is, as usual, weeding. Everything is so healthy here--it makes her so happy! But that means the weeds are healthy, too.

As she works, not far from the centre of the gardens, she hums a happy little tune to herself.

[sansational]

Fortunately, Sans thinks to check the center of the garden first, so he's not looking for too long. He hears her humming before he sees her, but still lets out a sigh of relief as she comes into view. His shoulders visibly slump with it.

"hey, uh...hey, grune." He offers her a wave to try and get her attention, trying not to actively look as anxious as he currently feels. "can i borrow you for a bit?"

[lostinmyway]

"Oh, yes, of course." She stands right away--but then she stops, her head tilted to the side. "Is something the matter?"

[sansational]

"well...not with me." Sans scratches at his skull, wondering how best to approach this. Then he takes a deep breath, tries to calm his nerves, and settles on approaching from the beginning. "you know neil, right? neil watts? he's a scientist? makes a lot of spectacularly bad jokes? also ketchup?"

[lostinmyway]

As soon as Sans mentions Neil's name, she smiles. "Oh, yes. He's such a sweet young man."

[sansational]

"yeah. he's pretty great. but, uh...he's also kinda sick. and i don't know if we can make him stop being sick, but i was wondering...i mean, you know plants, right? sure you do. no one knows plants better." Sans is babbling particularly badly even by his own lax standards. He grinds his teeth for a minute in an attempt to get back to the point, and finally finishes: "so i was wondering if you knew any plants that could at least make it so he doesn't hurt so much?"

[lostinmyway]

She watches Sans and lets him speak. When he finishes, she steps forward and sets a hand lightly atop his skull for a moment.

"Of course, dear. Let me see...."

Tauriel is growing lots of special plants in her corner of the garden. She's sure one of them will be exactly what Neil needs.

"Let's go," she says to Sans and starts walking toward Tauriel's garden.

[sansational]

Sans jerks with surprise, briefly, at the hand on top of his skull. But then he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, and it doesn't shake quite so much when he does. "yeah. let's go."

He buries his hands in his pockets, and then he follows behind her, already staring down at the flowers as they pass as though he can work out their purpose by sheer force of will alone.

[lostinmyway]

Grune also watches the flowers as they pass, but almost hazily. Her lips part a few times, and she almost stops once or twice, but, in the end, she continues on.

When they reach Tauriel's garden, she doesn't stop until she's standing in front of a still short bush with a number of sprays of small white flowers. She thinks for a moment, then pinches off most of a cluster with her fingernails.

With the flowers cupped in her hand, she turns to Sans and says, "Now it's time to make a cup of tea."

[sansational]

Sans follows behind her, all but vibrating with restless energy. He's torn between the wild need to go faster and the rational knowledge that Grune must know what she's doing, that Sans is the dead weight in this situation and it's best to keep his mouth shut.

The little flowers don't look like much. But Grune looks as confident as he ever sees her, and so Sans nods. "tea. uh, sure thing." He reaches out to take her hand, in preparation of takinga shortcut down to the kitchens. "you...you know how to handle that part, right? 'cause i'm really not much of a tea guy." Maybe the occasional Sea Tea, but why would he ever have learned how to make that when Old Gerson always had a stash on hand?