[mingle] what's the dream and what's the reality?

[lovetheme]

Lately the castle's nights have been very clear and almost warm, even up so high among the clouds as they are. But regardless of the weather, they are generally peaceful nights, and few things seem to stir during them...apart from the castle's inhabitants, be it with late-night roving or with sleep. The dreams, by extension, are at least undisturbed...if maybe not always pleasant. That sort of thing tends to vary by the person, of course.

But now--and for several nights, consecutively--the castle residents may find their dreams starting to take on stranger shapes: memories they've never had, friends that don't usually arrive, strangers they've never seen. These odd impressions might cling and continue to confuse even upon waking, vivid as they were; was it really just a dream, or maybe something more...? Does that newcomer in your dream remember you there too, in the daytime?

Either way, there seems to be an strange energy in the air during these nights. And it's bringing dreams together.

((ooc: And here's the catch-all post for the dream-sharing event! Feel free to top-level with your character's dreams here, or thread around in others! The event should only last about a week, but backtagging is eternal c: The ooc planning post can be found here!))

Comments

[notsogrimreaper]

"Judging from the frown on your face, it doesn't seem like you believe that."

His voice is soft. He doesn't want to accuse her, but he's good at reading people.

[lightofthestars]

"Though I do not sleep as mortals do, I still take rest when I can," she says. "It stills my mind and refreshes my soul. I do not think I would be happy without it."

She does not ask if he stays truly well without sleep, but...she wonders.

[notsogrimreaper]

"Well, I suppose it works differently for different... beings. I don't think my mind really 'stills' when I try to rest, at least, and it doesn't usually feel refreshing."

Not with the constant fear and nightmares he suffers.

[lightofthestars]

"I am sorry." That must be difficult to bear.

She is quiet a moment, and then she says, "The next time I take my rest, would you like to sit with me? Maybe you would be able to find some brief peace."

[notsogrimreaper]

"I... I suppose it's worth a shot. Maybe I'll feel better if someone is nearby."

He kind of doubts it, but her offer is so genuinely heartfelt that he has to accept it. He doesn't want to disappoint her.

[lightofthestars]

"Fear is often lessened when shared between friends. I hope that is true this time. If not, I will be there to waken you."

She hopes that will not be needed, but--nothing is sure.

[notsogrimreaper]

"I think a bad dream will probably wake me up quickly anyways. But thank you for the offer. It... really does mean a lot that you worry so much."

He shifts from foot to foot, but smiles.

[lightofthestars]

She blushes lightly, but says, "You are...you are dear to me. If there is a way for me to ease your pain, I will take it if I can."

[notsogrimreaper]

Ryoji's eyes widen.

"Ah... really? I-I mean, you're dear to me as well..."

[lightofthestars]

Her blush deepens. "I am...glad to hear it." She takes in a breath. "I was worried I had--had lost your regard at the dance. It is good this does not seem to be so."

[notsogrimreaper]

"You lost my regard? I... I thought I lost yours."

He lowers his head, immediately ducking into the comfort of his scarf.

"I mean... I would expect you to be terrified of me, with what I can do."

[lightofthestars]

"It is not what you can do that I fear," she says at once. "I was instead afraid that I had stepped out of my place. I have found it...easier to do so, living here--too easy."

[notsogrimreaper]

"...I'm sorry? You aren't... you aren't afraid of me? Why would you be afraid of stepping out of place?"

Did she really think he was deserving of more respect than what she had given him?

[lightofthestars]

She cannot help but stare at him for a moment before she turns her gaze aside. "You are so much greater than I. You have the might of one of the Rodyn, and I am only one of the tawarrim--and young as well. I should not have been speaking to you in the way in which I had been, and for that, I can only ask your forgiveness."

[notsogrimreaper]

"...You think I'm greater than you. Simply because I have some power..."

He could almost laugh, if he didn't feel so disgusted.

"The power I have is nothing that demands respect. It's at best a simple fact of life, and at worst destructive of the things that truly deserve admiration. I will not forgive you, because you have no reason to apologize... I."

He turns his head as well, so he doesn't see her expression.

"I was simply happy to be referred to like a human being."

[lightofthestars]

I will not forgive you....

Her heart is crushed within her at his words. Even when he speaks on and she understands his meaning, she is no less stricken.

With a trembling voice, she asks, "Then will you forgive me for the great pain I have caused you, one who I...I-I wished to call a friend?"

Her head bows; her body tautens. Even now, she steps too far. What has this place done to her?

[notsogrimreaper]

"...Of course I do. I don't see why you need to apologize for that either, but.... I'm happy you would. I wanted to be a friend to you as well."

He gives her a strained smile, but to see her head bowed, he looks away. It's foolish to hope that they'll be able to reconcile their friendship. Not now, not when she's still obviously terrified.

"It was... nice for the time it lasted."

[lightofthestars]

Now she looks up, quickly. Still, by some means, it is possible for her heart to pain her still more.

"Do you--do you no longer wish for my friendship?"

Now it is her lips that tremble; she presses them together to try to make them cease. Even so, she cannot stop the tears that rise in her eyes.

[notsogrimreaper]

"This isn't about what I wish. It's... about your safety. I don't want to harm you, and I know that I already have far too many times. It's impossible for someone like me to have friendships with mortal beings... I thought things may be different here, but I was wrong."

He looks back to her, trying to hold his own tears back.

"Please, don't cry."

[lightofthestars]

She shakes her head; her tears remain on her lashes. "I have told you before. I am captain of the guard of the King of the Woodland Realm. I am not so easily harmed. And nor am I a mortal being.

"I am not afraid of you. I only wish to show you the respect you deserve."

[notsogrimreaper]

"...Respect? That's just it. I don't deserve respect. I'm a monster, Tauriel. I know there are many here that are monsters and are kind beings, but I am not. I have done nothing but bring destruction to the people around me. I... I deserve the smallest amount of respect you can give. Nothing more than that."

He doesn't want anything more. He doesn't want to be worshiped.

[lightofthestars]

Her tears dry. She stands taller as she answers, "That is not true. You have brought no harm to anyone here--only many smiles. Before I was drawn to this place, I fought many monsters who sought only to destroy or corrupt. You are nothing like them."

To think of Ryoji as like an orc or one of the great spiders--the wrongness is nigh beyond what she can bear.

[notsogrimreaper]

"No harm here. You don't know what it was like, where I'm from. You don't know how destructive I really am. And... And I don't even know how to explain."

Because the idea of admitting to all of that makes bile rise in his throat, his eyes water, his heart clench. He isn't sure if he can take this... even if everyone does deserve the truth.

[lightofthestars]

Yet again, she shakes her head, her hair whipping back and forth with the force of her movement.

"It does not matter now. Whatever--whatever you did, it is now past. You are here. You are nowhere else."

And she cannot believe, in her heart of hearts, that Ryoji is evil. He may have been born to such a purpose (she cannot forget that night she healed him) but the Ryoji she knows--even Thanatos--has been nothing but kind.

[notsogrimreaper]

"But I could have come here for a reason! And maybe that reason involves your destruction. I... I don't want to see you suffer. Don't you understand?"

Why don't people accept that if he really is 'nothing but kind', he should be keeping them away from him rather than tricking them and becoming their friend without letting them know the truth?