[Post-Halloween event, OPEN] "Matter of fact it's all dark."

[justletmewin]

It's... hard for him to take. The island feels the same as it's ever been. Fresher maybe. The castle is itself. Asriel is back right where he started, next to the hyacinth bush he woke up beside months ago. Dread welled in the pit of his stomach: oh no not again please not again

Relief sweeps through him when he finds the loamy black patches of soil with tiny green sprouts. Over the past month, the goat child nursed those tiny little plants, which grew from the golden flower seeds he picked off his sweater, pants, and fur from when he fell asleep in the Ruins. He knew it took a month or two of dormancy--longer if necessary, depending on the seasons--before the plants popped out of the ground, but he hadn't expected them to grow. Watering this little patch gave him something to do... a routine to follow like brushing your teeth or making the bed. ...Okay, he admitted. Maybe there was a part of him that hoped the seeds would make it. Sure enough, they did. It felt... weirdly validating, in a way.

If he's still in his current time, this means... oh.

Should one be taking a walk in the gardens that day, they may see Asriel on his knees in the flowers, head lowered in thought. His expression looks... numb.






[[OOC: For those who got their soul stolen, Asriel can apologize to your character here. If not, they're free to just chat. Thank you everybody who participated in the Hyperdeath event! :D]]

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[oldmantiger]

Kotetsu is quite enjoying a walk through the gardens. He...has a lot to think about. And at least, the sun is warm and the ground is solid, and he's once again caught between the two where he belongs. He doesn't intend to take that for granted any time soon.

It's a patrol, of sorts - a way to see for himself that everyone is back to normal, that no one else needs help. It's a meandering sort of patrol, because he knows how people can wind up in far flung corners of this place. But also because it's a nice day out and he can actually feel things again.

If he focuses on the smell of grass, he doesn't have to dwell too much on the memories.

At least until he rounds the corner of the hedge maze, and sees Asriel up ahead.

It shouldn't mean anything. Asriel doesn't exactly look the same as he did. But the sight of that fur, those ears, that face, and Kotetsu's chest gives a sudden, violent ache. His SOUL reacting to its temporary thief. He presses a hand to his chest as though to keep it there, gritting his teeth against a rising bile in his throat.

"You..."

[justletmewin]

Nauseous dread seizes Asriel when he sees Kotetsu gawking at him and clutching his chest in horror. This innocent man endured a hell worse than what he'd already gone through as a ghost... because of him. Because he believed if he "borrowed" his soul, he could've made up for the temporary nightmare with a permanent paradise. Kotetsu wouldn't need to wander lost, confused, unable to remember his friends... he wouldn't need to worry about losing them because he'd be together with them always. If Asriel had been offered a chance to be with his friends and family forever in exchange for a week, a month, or even a year of misery--he'd do it. Swallow his tears, grit his teeth, and do what needs to be done so everyone lived happily ever after. It's why he helped Chara with the buttercups long ago.

He may have done it for the greater good, but he learned the hard way that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. What he hoped would happen went catastrophically wrong... he ended up endangering everyone again. Kotetsu's torture meant nothing and had been completely unnecessary in the end.

"Kotetsu..." The one you torched at the Edge. "I..."

[oldmantiger]

Torture is a good word for it. That time without his soul had been, quite simply, the worst thing Kotetsu had ever lived through - if you could call wandering as a soulless ghost "living". He's fallen off skyscrapers, he's been beaten over half to death, he's been shot in the chest. He's been forgotten by all his friends, wasn't there to hold his wife's hand while she died, had to let his daughter go to live with family who could actually take care of her.

Losing his soul was like living through all of that all over again, all at once.

If this were still the God of Hyperdeath standing in front of him, he'd at least be getting a solid punch in the face. But it's not. Kotetsu feels his heart lurch in his chest to realize as much, as he strides across the distance between them to get a better look at Asriel.

He really is so small now. That's the first proper thought that comes to Kotetsu. Where before there was a cold and distant cosmic god, now here stands what is unmistakably a child. A child with long ears and fuzzy white fur - didn't Frisk say there was a special name for monsters like that? But a child either way. And a scared one at that.

...damn it. Kotetsu can feel his hackles settling already, and he kind of hates himself for that.

He leans down a little to better look at Asriel. Though there's no warmth in his expression, not as such, neither is there open hostility.

"So. What'd the castle turn you into, anyway? Is this what you normally look like?"

[justletmewin]

Where could he possibly begin? Apologies aren't enough. Two words can't get rid of everything Kotetsu endured. Asriel already made an enemy today... two if Flowey bumped into him. Both of them likely to kill him on sight.

"Y-Yes." Asriel stuttered. "The person you saw at the Edge... who set you on fire and--and took your soul... that used to be a character I drew and wrote about in stories. He's... he's supposed to be good. He's the Absolute God of Hyperdeath, but--but he's supposed to use his powers to save everyone. Like a superhero for the galaxy..."

Twice in a row, Hyperdeath did the exact opposite. What used to be an innocent past-time mutated into Frankenstein's monster. It sickened him knowing he can masquerade as his own creation and bring misery to everyone involved; he'll never pick up another crayon or pencil if it meant protecting people from his own art.

"I'm--I'm so sorry..." he croaked. "I really hurt you... and I put you through so much. I made such a big mess. All because I got scared..."

[oldmantiger]

...and Asriel says perhaps the one word that could cut right to the heart of Kotetsu. Superhero. A kid who wants to be a hero but is afraid he can only ever hurt people. It's not exactly parallel to his own childhood, of course...but it's close enough to hurt.

Kotetsu sighs, shoulders slumping, his gaze falling to his feet for a moment. For a moment, he sounds and feels just as old as Barnaby jokes that he always is.

Then he reaches out, very carefully, and pats Asriel on the head. After that, he sits himself down on the grass next to the little monster, legs crossed, hands resting on his knees.

"Why'd you get scared?" He doesn't look at Asriel just yet.

[justletmewin]

Asriel flinches--when all Kotetsu does is pat him, he grits his teeth and inhales. He can't let himself cry again from something like this, not now...

"Something terrible happened to me a long time ago." the goat child explains. "Because of that, I don't have a soul anymore. Without a soul... I lose all my compassion. I can't love anyone anymore. I become this awful flower named Flowey who only wants to hurt everyone." Which is a story by itself Asriel wasn't ready to talk about yet. "Since waking up on this island, even though I still don't have a soul, I'm still... 'myself.' I can still care about people and I haven't changed back into a flower. But then, I learned... nobody stays on this island forever. One day, anyone could disappear and you'd never see them again. Friends, family... it doesn't matter. I could wake up one day as Flowey, as though nothing happened, and..."

[oldmantiger]

...that definitely sounds like quite a story. Quite an awful story. For once, Kotetsu isn't even all that curious for details. He can tell it would be hard for Asriel to go into them, and he probably wouldn't even understand half of them anyway. Up until a few weeks ago, he never thought a soul was something you could lose while you were still even technically "alive".

"Yeah. That does sound...pretty awful." It sounds worse than that, but Kotetsu is frequently bad enough with words as it is. He doesn't trust himself to try and encapsulate the full range of horror otherwise. He swallows painfully, and stumbles out an apology: "I'm so sorry that happened to you." No one should ever have to suffer like that. Especially not a little kid.

Even so, what Asriel did was wrong. Kotetsu stares out distantly at the garden for a long moment, thinking of how best to convey that. At first, he keeps getting distracted by how beautiful the world is, now that he's back in it.

"...but you can't make those decisions for people. I care a lot about Bunny." More than he previously appreciated before. "Even if it's selfish...I'm really glad to be here with him, instead of being here alone. But there's someone back home who's just as important to me as he is. I would do almost anything if I could leave this place and see her again."

[justletmewin]

Due to the resets he did as Flowey, people became predictable to him. The same lines of dialogue, over and over. This is all they are and ever will be. Children are selfish by nature, but add a god complex as the cherry on top and the powers to feed it? He assumed he knew everything about everyone, that he knew them better than they knew themselves. But people are more complex than that. Part of growing up is learning to see outside yourself, even if their experience doesn't match yours.

Would he really be happy if someone decided his happiness for him? He barely knows Kotetsu. What right did he have to think being with Barnaby was all he'd ever need from one conversation alone?

"I won't do it again. I just wish I knew a way I could stay... without hurting people or taking their souls."

[oldmantiger]

"...I believe you. And I can see why you'd want to stay. This..." Kotetsu gestures at the garden around them, at the castle in general. "This place really isn't so bad. If I didn't have Kaede waiting for me, I might not even mind staying here so much." Of course, he also missed his brother, his mom, his friends...but Kaede, and now Barnaby, were all he really needed in life. The castle brought him here when Kotetsu was already leaving a familiar phase in his life, which was a kindness of a sort - albeit one he knew it hadn't necessarily extended to everyone.

"I'm trying to find a way home. But...I'll also try to find a way so you can stay. Okay?" This time, his smile is a little more genuine, and he even offers Asriel a thumbs-up. "We superheroes have to help everyone out, right?"

[justletmewin]

"Kotetsu... You don't have to do that for me." Even so, the fact Kotetsu wanted to--after all he'd been through--made the goat child smile. "I don't think I can call myself a superhero after all that's happened, but... I'd be more than happy to help you. If you need me for anything, just let me know!" Asriel returns the thumb's up, a flash of confidence lighting his eyes. "We're in this together!"

[oldmantiger]

"You know it!" Kotetsu looks downright pleased and even a little proud to have coaxed that look out of Asriel, even after everything. Sometimes...sometimes children make big mistakes. He knows that. But he also knows that Asriel seems to be a good kid. And that means something.

"And hey, I know what a superhero looks like, after all. I used to be one!" His expression softens at recollections of sadder memories. "I know how hard it can be, not to hurt people. Even when you want to help."

[justletmewin]

"Yeah... it's awful." Asriel agrees. "After everything I did as Flowey, I thought it'd be better to stay Underground where no one would find me. So when I changed back, I can't make everyone miserable again."

The goat child sighs.

"I guess what I learned from all this is it doesn't matter if you can feel love or not. I did something awful because I love my friends and this island. It hurts knowing I did all this even as 'myself.' I thought if I changed back and got a new soul, I... I wouldn't do evil things anymore."

[oldmantiger]

"Maybe try to look at it this way. If you can still do bad things when you have a soul...maybe that means you can still do good things when you don't."

He's not quite sure how to vocalize any of this. This is all very unfamiliar territory, for Kotetsu. He believes that souls exist, of course. He did even before he lost his. But he's never had to think about how or why or where they exist. Do robots have souls? Or flowers?

...he's too tired to think too hard about it now. Even to help Asriel. He might just say the wrong thing again.