knock knock

[ashkente]

Out in the garden, there's a barefoot seven-foot-tall skeleton in a black robe getting cozy on a bench, scythe in one hand and jokebook in the other. Really. He's flipping through it slowly with one skinless thumb, taking his time.

He feels like he has a better grasp of humanity than he ever has (but then he's always telling himself now he's finally gotten it and he's always wrong), except for humor. It just doesn't make any sense. Hard as he tries to tell jokes to those he meets, usually while on the job, nobody laughs. If he could get it right, surely it'd go a long way towards comforting those poor souls! It's for a good cause.

Which is why he'll memorize every joke written in the book or else. That's one benefit to having a perfect endless memory.



((I blame work for the way I've neglected this poor guy. Have some boney warm fuzzies.))

Comments

[itstheend]

Frisk deflates a little, puffing their cheeks out with a huff. The snickering from the back of the mindscape isn't helping either.

"I mean. Um."

There's nothing like explaining a joke to kill it. Did he not get it or did he not realise they'd even made one? Maybe it's best to just move forward here.

"That's a shame. Can I hear one?"

They're genuinely sympathetic, and eager.

[ashkente]

Now he's gone and disappointed the child. How awkward. This is so confusing. But he will not give up! Someday, he'll figure out the secret!

"Oғ ᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ." He turns a page, reading a new joke off. "Hᴏᴡ ᴍᴀɴʏ ᴀᴘᴘʟᴇs ɢʀᴏᴡ ᴏɴ ᴀ ᴛʀᴇᴇ? Aʟʟ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇᴍ."

[itstheend]

"Hee!"

That's a pretty good one. His reading's a bit stiff, but in a way that kind of delivery just makes it funnier.

"How about... Um." Shoot. Most of the puns they know are in bad pickup lines. The guy seems to have enough trouble with the pun part without throwing in the power of the *Flirt option, too. Help them out here, Chara?

Stop trying to make me socialise by proxy.

The line of Frisk-Chara's mouth tilts a little towards ': /', but they guess they can't make them.

Damn skippy.

"D'you have any more?" they say to Death hopefully, even with Chara grumbling that the joke book is right there, of course he does.

[ashkente]

He's reading while they think, calmly. Not that anyone could tell easily if he was annoyed, most likely. No frowns, only smiles and grins.

"Wʜʏ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ɴᴏsᴇ ᴛᴡᴇʟᴠᴇ ɪɴᴄʜᴇs ʟᴏɴɢ? Bᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴇɴ ɪᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴀ ғᴏᴏᴛ. ... I ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟᴏᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ."

He'd rather not though. It's kind of nice, reading to a child again. Nostalgic.

[itstheend]

Chara has a smile for every occasion, including annoyance and anger, but Death is even harder to read than that.

"I think it's better hearing you tell them."

There's a difference between reading something and being read something, after all. They settle down on the grass, lying on their stomach with their arms folded and their feet sticking up. See? They're being attentive!

It's nice, the sunlight, and the grass flattened under them, and the slight breeze.

AAAAAA THIS IS A MONTH OLD

[ashkente]

"I'ᴍ ɢʟᴀᴅ. Mʏ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ ɪs ғᴀʀ ᴛᴏᴏ ᴏʟᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ. Wʜᴀᴛ ᴅɪᴅ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡᴀʟʟ sᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴀʟʟ? ... I'ʟʟ ᴍᴇᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏʀɴᴇʀ."

The jokes probably aren't going to get any better. He's probably not going to laugh. It'll be the same hollow serious voice, joke after joke. Well. At least the child might laugh, and it's a nice sunny day!

NO WORRIES FRIENDO I BACKTAG FOREVER

[itstheend]

That catches Frisk's interest. "You have a granddaughter? What's she like?" They do genuinely want to know, but also they love hearing people speak of their family with fondness.

They laugh at the joke, too, a quiet huffing.

I'll meet you at the corner, it said. Go forth.

Frisk beams, propping Chara's head up on their elbows.

STILL OLD, STILL CUTE, WHATEVER I'M DOING IT!!!

[ashkente]

"Yᴇs. Hᴇʀ ɴᴀᴍᴇ ɪs Sᴜsᴀɴ. Sʜᴇ's ᴀ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟᴛᴇᴀᴄʜᴇʀ. A ɢᴏᴏᴅ, sᴇɴsɪʙʟᴇ ᴏɴᴇ, I ᴛʜɪɴᴋ." Both the kids and their parents seem to love her--but that's about all he knows about her work. He tries to stay out of her life, see ...

"I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴘɪᴄᴛᴜʀᴇ."

YAAAAS

[itstheend]

It's clear he's fond of her, although the tone of the 'I think' does them having a brief enquiring look. They get distracted by the prospect of photos.

[Can I see?]

They want to see what she looks like, now. A teacher? Sounds like she'd get along with their mom.

[ashkente]

"Oғ ᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ." There must be a pocket inside his robe, surely, because he's taking the photograph out from somewhere in there. It really is a photo, Imp-made, of a stern-looking human woman without a smile. (Unlike him, always grinning!)

[itstheend]

Frisk peers at it, looking pleased. Others might wonder why a skeleton has a human granddaughter but for Frisk the answer is obvious - adoption. They look up from the photo to beam.

[She's got cool hair. What's she like about schoolteaching? ]

That is to say, what does she enjoy regarding it more than how she does it, although they wouldn't say no to knowing that too. A human being family with monsters is near and dear to their heart - of course they're curious.

Chara, on the other hand, just approves of her apparent choice in weaponry. That stick looks like it could really bludgeon something.

[ashkente]

Look all you want. He'll even allow you to hold the photo, Frisk. He has more copies, of course. Just in case one gets lost.

"Tʜᴇ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ. Sʜᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇs ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ sᴇɴsɪʙʟᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ sᴜʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ʟᴇᴀʀɴɪɴɢ ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴ ʜᴇʀ ᴄʟᴀss. Tʜᴇʏ ᴜsᴜᴀʟʟʏ ᴅᴏ. Tʜᴇʏ ᴄᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴʟʏ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟsᴇ."

Partly because she's a natural at getting children to be interested in things and partly because she cheats a little. Nobody can blame her for that. If you've got it...

[itstheend]

They don't want to take the photo in case it is his only copy and they smudge it or tear it or something by accident. So they look, and then nod and look back up at Death's skull.

"She sounds like my mom," they blurt. "She likes teaching too. She made it really interesting."

She's certainly the best teacher, and the best mom, they'd ever had. That does, according to basic math, make her double best.

(What kid wouldn't love being taught by goth Ms. Frizzle?)