"I wasn't planning on it - I already did. Thought we could try this soup recipe I heard about a while back. Hope you like it."
He considers doing something - wrapping an arm around Barnaby's shoulder, staying close, indulging in something companionable. But he doesn't. Kotetsu has to actively force himself, remind himself, to be as affectionate as he usually is. He tries. He reminds himself often, and sometimes acts even more affectionate towards Barnaby as though to make up for these idiotic doubts. He tries. But the easy affection he previously enjoyed just rings...wrong.
He blames himself for days. He wonders what's wrong with him all of a sudden. Only later - much too late, he'll learn later - does he consider the possibility that something might be wrong with Barnaby. Maybe the castle has done something to him.
He wars with himself for a long while before doing what he does next. This is a line Kotetsu swore that he would never cross. Going snooping through a partner's things is a betrayal, pure and simple. An ultimate breaking of trust. But...he can't shake the feeling that Barnaby is hiding something from him. If he's right, at least he didn't break the trust between them first.
It's a hollow excuse, one that leaves a bad taste in Kotetsu's mouth. But in the end, it leads to him slipping out of bed one night, gently disentangling himself from his boyfriend's embrace. But this time, rather than wandering the halls, he grabs Barnaby's phone off the side table and ducks out into the hallway.
And then he goes looking through Barnaby's phone for some kind of answer. For some clue as to how to help.
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Date: 2017-06-12 11:21 pm (UTC)He considers doing something - wrapping an arm around Barnaby's shoulder, staying close, indulging in something companionable. But he doesn't. Kotetsu has to actively force himself, remind himself, to be as affectionate as he usually is. He tries. He reminds himself often, and sometimes acts even more affectionate towards Barnaby as though to make up for these idiotic doubts. He tries. But the easy affection he previously enjoyed just rings...wrong.
He blames himself for days. He wonders what's wrong with him all of a sudden. Only later - much too late, he'll learn later - does he consider the possibility that something might be wrong with Barnaby. Maybe the castle has done something to him.
He wars with himself for a long while before doing what he does next. This is a line Kotetsu swore that he would never cross. Going snooping through a partner's things is a betrayal, pure and simple. An ultimate breaking of trust. But...he can't shake the feeling that Barnaby is hiding something from him. If he's right, at least he didn't break the trust between them first.
It's a hollow excuse, one that leaves a bad taste in Kotetsu's mouth. But in the end, it leads to him slipping out of bed one night, gently disentangling himself from his boyfriend's embrace. But this time, rather than wandering the halls, he grabs Barnaby's phone off the side table and ducks out into the hallway.
And then he goes looking through Barnaby's phone for some kind of answer. For some clue as to how to help.