castle_perrault | [Post-Halloween event, OPEN] "Matter of fact it's all dark."

It's... hard for him to take. The island feels the same as it's ever been. Fresher maybe. The castle is itself. Asriel is back right where he started, next to the hyacinth bush he woke up beside months ago. Dread welled in the pit of his stomach: oh no not again please not again

Relief sweeps through him when he finds the loamy black patches of soil with tiny green sprouts. Over the past month, the goat child nursed those tiny little plants, which grew from the golden flower seeds he picked off his sweater, pants, and fur from when he fell asleep in the Ruins. He knew it took a month or two of dormancy--longer if necessary, depending on the seasons--before the plants popped out of the ground, but he hadn't expected them to grow. Watering this little patch gave him something to do... a routine to follow like brushing your teeth or making the bed. ...Okay, he admitted. Maybe there was a part of him that hoped the seeds would make it. Sure enough, they did. It felt... weirdly validating, in a way.

If he's still in his current time, this means... oh.

Should one be taking a walk in the gardens that day, they may see Asriel on his knees in the flowers, head lowered in thought. His expression looks... numb.

[[OOC: For those who got their soul stolen, Asriel can apologize to your character here. If not, they're free to just chat. Thank you everybody who participated in the Hyperdeath event! :D]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Asriel flinches--when all Kotetsu does is pat him, he grits his teeth and inhales. He can't let himself cry again from something like this, not now...

"Something terrible happened to me a long time ago." the goat child explains. "Because of that, I don't have a soul anymore. Without a soul... I lose all my compassion. I can't love anyone anymore. I become this awful flower named Flowey who only wants to hurt everyone." Which is a story by itself Asriel wasn't ready to talk about yet. "Since waking up on this island, even though I still don't have a soul, I'm still... 'myself.' I can still care about people and I haven't changed back into a flower. But then, I learned... nobody stays on this island forever. One day, anyone could disappear and you'd never see them again. Friends, family... it doesn't matter. I could wake up one day as Flowey, as though nothing happened, and..."

...that definitely sounds like quite a story. Quite an awful story. For once, Kotetsu isn't even all that curious for details. He can tell it would be hard for Asriel to go into them, and he probably wouldn't even understand half of them anyway. Up until a few weeks ago, he never thought a soul was something you could lose while you were still even technically "alive".

"Yeah. That does sound...pretty awful." It sounds worse than that, but Kotetsu is frequently bad enough with words as it is. He doesn't trust himself to try and encapsulate the full range of horror otherwise. He swallows painfully, and stumbles out an apology: "I'm so sorry that happened to you." No one should ever have to suffer like that. Especially not a little kid.

Even so, what Asriel did was wrong. Kotetsu stares out distantly at the garden for a long moment, thinking of how best to convey that. At first, he keeps getting distracted by how beautiful the world is, now that he's back in it.

"...but you can't make those decisions for people. I care a lot about Bunny." More than he previously appreciated before. "Even if it's selfish...I'm really glad to be here with him, instead of being here alone. But there's someone back home who's just as important to me as he is. I would do almost anything if I could leave this place and see her again."

Due to the resets he did as Flowey, people became predictable to him. The same lines of dialogue, over and over. This is all they are and ever will be. Children are selfish by nature, but add a god complex as the cherry on top and the powers to feed it? He assumed he knew everything about everyone, that he knew them better than they knew themselves. But people are more complex than that. Part of growing up is learning to see outside yourself, even if their experience doesn't match yours.

Would he really be happy if someone decided his happiness for him? He barely knows Kotetsu. What right did he have to think being with Barnaby was all he'd ever need from one conversation alone?

"I won't do it again. I just wish I knew a way I could stay... without hurting people or taking their souls."

"...I believe you. And I can see why you'd want to stay. This..." Kotetsu gestures at the garden around them, at the castle in general. "This place really isn't so bad. If I didn't have Kaede waiting for me, I might not even mind staying here so much." Of course, he also missed his brother, his mom, his friends...but Kaede, and now Barnaby, were all he really needed in life. The castle brought him here when Kotetsu was already leaving a familiar phase in his life, which was a kindness of a sort - albeit one he knew it hadn't necessarily extended to everyone.

"I'm trying to find a way home. But...I'll also try to find a way so you can stay. Okay?" This time, his smile is a little more genuine, and he even offers Asriel a thumbs-up. "We superheroes have to help everyone out, right?"

"Kotetsu... You don't have to do that for me." Even so, the fact Kotetsu wanted to--after all he'd been through--made the goat child smile. "I don't think I can call myself a superhero after all that's happened, but... I'd be more than happy to help you. If you need me for anything, just let me know!" Asriel returns the thumb's up, a flash of confidence lighting his eyes. "We're in this together!"

"You know it!" Kotetsu looks downright pleased and even a little proud to have coaxed that look out of Asriel, even after everything. Sometimes...sometimes children make big mistakes. He knows that. But he also knows that Asriel seems to be a good kid. And that means something.

"And hey, I know what a superhero looks like, after all. I used to be one!" His expression softens at recollections of sadder memories. "I know how hard it can be, not to hurt people. Even when you want to help."

"Yeah... it's awful." Asriel agrees. "After everything I did as Flowey, I thought it'd be better to stay Underground where no one would find me. So when I changed back, I can't make everyone miserable again."

The goat child sighs.

"I guess what I learned from all this is it doesn't matter if you can feel love or not. I did something awful because I love my friends and this island. It hurts knowing I did all this even as 'myself.' I thought if I changed back and got a new soul, I... I wouldn't do evil things anymore."

"Maybe try to look at it this way. If you can still do bad things when you have a soul...maybe that means you can still do good things when you don't."

He's not quite sure how to vocalize any of this. This is all very unfamiliar territory, for Kotetsu. He believes that souls exist, of course. He did even before he lost his. But he's never had to think about how or why or where they exist. Do robots have souls? Or flowers?

...he's too tired to think too hard about it now. Even to help Asriel. He might just say the wrong thing again.

[Post-Halloween event, OPEN] "Matter of fact it's all dark."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject