castle_perrault | (no subject)

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discworld

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Good afternoon, Castle. There's a new arrival, a seven-foot-tall skeleton in the ballroom sampling the sweets. He may be the most unruffled newbie to arrive on the floating island in quite a long time. Those who can remember events before they happen tend not to be surprised very often, and this is nothing more than a vacation for him. No Duty to do at all, for he doesn't have dominion here. He hopes it'll be restful and possibly even pleasant.

He's going to try a little bit of everything in the room, in no hurry. For any witnesses, it's a bizarre thing to see. Food goes into his mouth, isn't chewed at all, and must go somewhere, because it's not ending up on the floor. No matter how long he's watched, it's going to remain a mystery as to how he swallows and where it's ending up. Best not to ask, you'd only embarrass him. Some things ought to be kept private.

(Of course, skeletons eating food can't be anything new here. Hopefully no one will stare at him too long.)

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Most would know who he is, deep down, if he were in a place he belongs. It looks like he'll have to be polite and introduce himself, since he's not.

"Tʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ. I ᴀᴍ Dᴇᴀᴛʜ."

It always sounds more dramatic than he wants it to be. Maybe the plate of cake cancels out some of the drama.

It really is him. (And yes, the cake takes away quite a bit of the drama.) Toriel stares for a second or so longer than necessary, catches herself, and gives a nervous laugh.

What do you even say to someone you've read a few books about?

Well, obviously not that.

"I am sorry for my mistake. You do look quite a lot like a friend of mine." As if Papyrus borrowed the River Person's cloak. Belatedly, though, she realizes that her warning earlier still kind of applies. "Um. You may still want to be careful, though. There are sometimes bits of jewelry in the cakes."

...Can Death even chip a tooth?

"I ᴋɴᴏᴡ. I ғᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴀ ʀɪɴɢ ᴇᴀʀʟɪᴇʀ. Wᴏᴜʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴏ ʙᴀᴋᴇᴅ ᴀɴʏ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ?"

Not likely, but he could swallow it, and that would be rude, eating someone else's expensive jewelry.

A moment later, her first statement catches up with him, "I ᴅᴏ?"

"Unfortunately, no. I would love to give them a piece of my mind about it if I did."

Her children could have choked. The jewelry in the food doesn't amuse her in the slightest.

But her expression softens a bit at the second question.

"And yes, actually, you do. Some of my very best friends are skeletons. A few of them live here, in fact."

"I ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɢɪᴠᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴄᴋ." He doesn't get angry about such little things. Too much effort to think angry thoughts.

"Fᴀsᴄɪɴᴀᴛɪɴɢ. Aʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴɪғɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴs ᴏғ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ?"

Toriel grins in spite of herself.

"No, they are just skeleton monsters. Much like I am a goat monster." You can only be called a goat so many times before you get over it. "We come in all shapes."

"Isɴ'ᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʀᴜᴅᴇ, ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴍᴏɴsᴛᴇʀs?" Is it alright if he calls them monsters? These are the important questions.

"Oh, not at all. That is what we are. We are people just like anyone else." The negative connotation of the word is a bit depressing, but she knows there's no ill intent in the question.

"I sᴇᴇ. Vᴇʀʏ ᴡᴇʟʟ, ᴀs ʟᴏɴɢ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ᴏғғᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ."

What can he say, really? It's nice to be nice at every opportunity, and this is a good one.

"Oh, no, of course not. I do appreciate that you asked, though."

The personification of death, a perfect gentleman. Who would ever have guessed?

And an animal lover too! It all comes rather naturally, so to speak, and the world is hopefully better off with him.

"Wᴏᴜʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs?"

"Certainly! Papyrus is the one I mistook you for... he is just about the same height as you. He is a very gentle soul... loves to make new friends. I do not think he has an unkind bone in his body."

...Snrk. That came out before she even thought about it. Accidental pun. She tries valiantly to fight down a snicker and actually manages pretty well.

"...Sorry. No offense meant. His older brother, Sans, is a very good friend of mine. He kept me company for a long time when I had no one else. We used to tell one another jokes to pass the time."

And still do, honestly, although now it comes with a side effect of Papyrus screaming at them for the terrible jokes.

No offense taken, what a wonderfully appropriate phrase. Unfortunately he doesn't have any funny bones, but it is what it is.

"I'ᴍ ᴀғʀᴀɪᴅ I'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴠᴇʀʏ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴀᴛ ᴛᴇʟʟɪɴɢ ᴊᴏᴋᴇs." he says, somewhat apologetic. Not very good at 'small talk' either, that sort of thing comes with practice. There is an attempt? "Bᴜᴛ I ᴅᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ғᴀᴍɪʟʏ ᴛᴏᴏ, ᴀ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ."

She can forgive him for not being all that good at jokes. After all, who would really want the incarnation of death getting funny with things? It's probably better this way.

Toriel does perk up at the mention of his family, though. She may have read about his family some, but it's entirely another thing to hear about them firsthand. "Do you? How wonderful! I am sure she means a lot to you."

She can only dream of being a grandmother. At least for the time being. When you're functionally immortal, it's only a matter of time.

What they may expect is a cruel, mocking Death. What they get is much better, really, if you happen to live and die on the Discworld.

"Yᴇs. I ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ sᴇᴇ ʜᴇʀ ᴏғᴛᴇɴ, ʙᴜᴛ I ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ sᴀʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sʜᴇ ɪs."

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